"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven...." Ecclesiastes 3:1
Be prepared for a long post-there is a lot rotating through my mind about the seasons of life.
The last 4 years of life have turned over a lot of seasons. I've thought about this analogy a lot, as we've moved back to Ohio, where we watch the seasons take place every year.
In 4 years we have moved, I've started a job full time, Michael has changed jobs, we lived with my parents, sold our home in Florida (barely escaping foreclosure), kids have grown up, experienced extreme financial struggles, moved into an apartment, watched mom's cancer unfold and eventually take her life....I could list on and on. What else have we seen? We watched Michael's mom be diagnosed with cancer also in that time frame, but have also seen the joy of her remission. We escaped foreclosure. We found a new home in a church family. We've watched God provide miraculously. Our seasons have changed drastically. A lot of the time, I've felt like it's winter-I've felt cold and dead at times. Sad and dreary. But there has been breaks in teh clouds and I could see the sun shining through. There are moments that I have seen God work, and if I take the time to really evaluate and look back, I can understand more what a certain season meant.
I'm about to turn over a new leaf. I will be leaving my job at Starbucks next week. It almost feels unreal. I have been there 4 years. It's been my first real job, to be honest. The first place I had to prove I could perform. The first place of working "in the world" so to speak. People who knew me 4 years ago woudl probably be surprised by some of the characteristics I've discovered through working a full time job, and becoming a shift supervisor. I prayed hard about this decision. It did not come lightly. But as the door of opportunity opened in the last few weeks, it became clear that it was the one through which I need to step. It will be a new season, going to a new job. But it feels more like "summer"right now. The sun is clearly shining down in this time. I will have a consistent schedule, I will have paid holidays off, I will have really good benefits, I will have less stress and some freedom to express my creativity and business ideas. It will be a place for me to expand myself a little. It will be a way for me to regain some confidence (hopefully). Starting from scratch. I want to share more of all I've learned about myself and life through the last 4 years of working at Starbucks, but that'll come in another blog. I am sad to say goodbye to certain people, but I also know they will stay close....you guys know who you are.
I reflected on seasons of life as I stood in Dad's kitchen tonight, cooking for him. I can remember the days growing up when dinner time was completely at an unexpected hour. We lived on a farm. Dad was often out planting, harvesting, or tending to the animals, depending on the season. but Dinner was a priority to mom and dad for us to have together. I really never thought much of how strange our dinner schedule was. It just was family time and it happened when dad was done working. The days of eating dinner at 8 never really phased me much. I was reflecting on this tonight, as I cooked. It struck me as to what I was doing, standing in mom's place, reaching for the tea pitcher to make dad tea, and stirring the spagetti sauce, just as mom would have, using her old pots that have been around a long time. Mom's kitchen has a very nice window at the sink, and as you stand at the sink you can look out and see farmland, and trees moving and people driving by. It's relaxing. I LOVE being out at the farm. Anyway, tonight, as I was wondeirng what time dad would be home exactly to eat, I remembered those odd hours. Joseph kept saying, "It's 6:32....it's 6:36...." He was my time clock, I guess. It didn't bother me....it reminded me of growing up and seasons past. Dad called to tell me where he was. I answered, "Hello, Fergusons" (This is how we always answered growing up.) "Linda..." dad started to say. what a habit....he half laughed and corrected himself. I didn't mind. I smiled over it.....he proceeded to say when he'd be home. I finished up cooking and got it on the table, just as mom used to do for dad all the time. I'm not saying this to tell you all I"m doing. I'm just saying this, really to tell how amazing my mom was. And how odd it was to be the one doing that tonight. I stood in the kitchen and talked to mom tonight, as if she were sitting at her desk as usual. That may sound strange to most. But to anyone who has lost someone....I think you can understand that statement. It is a season that i hold closely in my heart. It felt good tonight to reflect on those days. Yes, I cried a little in the process. but I'm pretty sure that's ok.
I have more thoughts rolling around on this season of life thing. I'll write more tomorrow.
To be continued on the seasons of my life.....