I'm naturally a very reflective person. That has its good and its bad, but overall, I believe the reflection is what pushes me forward into dreams and goals and pursuing future opportunities. You will find very reflective posts this week, if you stick with me, because not only is it the end of May, but the 5K just took place, and I learned strong lessons through it (as always), and I have a year anniversary this week as well, which leads me into reflective mode.
But I love the end of the month posts, where I reflect on what I learned in the month... silly and serious both.
May was full- birthdays, graduations and the 5K. But May was a beautiful month.
This is just a portion of what I learned:
1. I can be alone and still have fun.
Being a people person, I naturally want people to join me in anything I am doing. The very first weekend of May, I went away for work. Not far, mind you (an hour is not really "away"), but nonetheless, it was out of my home environment. I asked a few different people (since it was close enough to home...) if they wanted to join me for an evening in the city. Some couldn't, some didn't want to, it doesn't really matter at this point. I suppose it was a good experience for me. Because out of the experience, I learned I am comfortable with me, and with who I am, and I don't always have to have someone at my side.
I have never once in my life gone out to eat at a nice restaurant alone. It's boring to me to do that. I like to conversate. But, here I was in the city, and I wasn't about to sit in a boring place down the street from my hotel room, so I endeavored out. Don't laugh (ok, you can if you want...) but I felt like big girl, all grown up, walking through downtown buildings and blocks and parties all by myself. I chose a place to eat, and it was busy and full, so I found a seat at the bar and ordered and ate there. I am not going to lie, it was kind of boring. I like to talk, or listen, and well, when you're alone, you don't do either. But after a bit, I chatted with the girl who sat next to me. I ordered ridiculous food I didn't need and enjoyed my evening. When dinner was finished, I took my dessert to go and sat by the river and listened to a band and enjoyed the warm evening.
It got boring after a while, so I wandered back to the hotel. But the point is, it was a good experience for me. I learned that it's okay to do stuff by myself once in a while. I learn things about myself. And I figure out that I'm ok in the skin I'm in. :) My night in the city below....
2. I learned how to do a screenshot on my phone.
This is probably the dumbest thing to admit, but I really never had done a screenshot on my phone. I have from computers and I have come a long way in my technology skills. But I'd never needed to screenshot. Until this month. So I learned how. :) Thank you to my 11 year old son for teaching me. I am not too embarrassed to admit it.
I seem to constantly be learning about this topic. Maybe the rest of my life I will, until I can better apply the fact that Jesus is the One person who will never fail me. May held some personal challenges for me. Ones I am not prepared to launch into. But along the course of this month, God brought some beautiful new people into my life- Amanda, Erin, and Cheri- all 3 of those came as a result of peeling back my layers and allowing vulnerability to play a part. All 3 of those women are beautiful, unexpected gifts to me. Prayer warriors and women who have walked in my shoes or women who simply have a heart to listen and be there. Because I chose to be vulnerable for a moment. Vulnerability is hard. But it's real. And important. I am blessed to have those 3 now part of my journey. Whether it's for a season or for a lifetime, I don't know. But I have learned/am learning to be thankful for it, no matter what. I have other friends who stand the test of time, and remain a solid person in my life. I also learned the nature of having an expectation and being let down when that is unable to be fulfilled. The hurts and the struggles that come with that are the moments where I learn, again, that Jesus is the One always there. When I am at a low point, or sobbing tears, a panic attack, or the most exciting news ever, or dreams bursting through my skin.... sometimes it's good for me to learn that He is the One for me to share with in that moment. It's not really a let down from friends, per say, it's about God teaching me that He wants me to share all that with Him first and foremost. People are good.. and a necessity even... but some moments, I rely far too much on people. Vulnerability is good, too. And the deeper my friendship is with the One who is always there, the better friend I can be and the more I can realize the valuable moments with those who are my friends.
This will be touched on now, but dived into a bit more in the blog to come on my 5K. But persevere sort of became my word through May. Persevere through bad days . Persevere through ugly words. Persevere through thoughts of failing or fear of "losing". Persevere... because the beauty of the outcome is more than words can ever capture. The feeling of winning is not about succeeding. The feeling of winning comes more from pushing through and coming out a better person. No matter what the event is.
5. I added to my "bucket list"
I was told I am a dreamer. (Not a realist or other words to describe that realm). It's pretty true of me, and I love it. So I go with it :) But I have this ongoing bucket list , not with time frames, just things I want to one day do. This month I added to that bucket list that I want to hike the Appalachian Trail. I read this great book this month called A walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson. His story of hiking the trails, and I have a new fascination for it. Even if one day I only get to hike a small portion, it now sits on my bucket list. I love hiking anyway, but this book fueled the idea of one day taking a short journey on those long-worn trails.
6. I'm forever a kid at heart
I love to run in the rain, roll windows down and sing loudly, jump on the trampolines, laugh like there's no tomorrow, and run barefoot through the grass. Seriously. I think the warmer weather brings these realizations to light. But those things are some of the "little things" that constantly bring a smile to my face.
7. New exercises
I have learned some new exercises. I have had to look them up to know what they are. Ones called "the superman" or "the skater" and all kinds of "fun" exercises along those lines. I cannot say I enjoy them, but it's been fun learning new ways to work the body. And challenge myself. I like challenges... and results, or even just knowing I did something new or something I thought I couldn't do.
May has been a great month, even if laced with challenges. It's been a great month because I have grown. And if we aren't growing in life, we aren't going anywhere.