Saturday, May 7, 2011

My Mom

I don't want to blog about anything but mom today. The problem is, it's hard to know what to say or where to begin. When asked my favorite memory of mom, i have so many, I can't name just one. So we'll just see where this leads. Also, when asked the biggest thing mom taught me, I also can't choose one. Mom taught me a lot....even in her very last days.
 We had a lot of fun growing up. we didn't have a lot of money, but I never cared. Mom made everything fun. she had a song for EVERYTHING (and I'm beginning to find myself doing that , too.) Mom told stories all the time or read books to us. She installed in all 4 of us a love for reading- we all love to pick up and read for hours. Mom had silly jokes. And she was always laughing. She was the life of the party  and the center of attention without really knowing she was or trying to be. People Just gravitated towards her.
 I can recall a few mothers days. Again, I never really had much money to do much for mom. One year I made her a collage of a bunch of words that described her, all cut out of letters from magazines. When looking through mom's things, I found that. She kept it all these years.Wow. One year, me, my sister, and mom had "girl time." I remember taking silly pictures. We played games, just the 3 of us. We all did eachother's hair in pigtails and took pictures. (I have them in storage somewhere.) We ate food. We laughed. It was a good time. That was our mothers day with her that year. Last year mom came to church with me. Surprised me , actually. She and dad showed up unexpectedly. That was fun. This year dad will join me. I'll miss my mom more than words can say.
 Mom used to joke a little that her initials sounded out to "LAF" because she was always laughing (Linda Ann Ferguson). And it's so true....she ALWAYS had a smile. always. Here's a funny description. Have you ever seen Mary Poppins? Remember the old man at the bank who dies in the end because he laughs so hard? He was wheezing while laughing. Anyway, we used to kid mom and tell her she had the old man laugh. It was called that because  when she got to laughing, usually during a game or something of the sort, she would laugh so hard, she'd wheeze. And then we'd all start laughing just as hard. it was contagious. But we'd say she had the old man's laugh, and one day she may die of laughing too. That seems strange to type that. But you know what? one of the precious things I can call to mind now is that mom IS laughing again. She has no more pain. And she is laughing again.
 Mom was positive about everything. Seriously. I hope that I learn to have that same quality someday. I am certainly trying, but like I said in the last's hard for me sometimes. Mom was patient. She always listened. She very rarely yelled. She loved life. It was that simple.
 When mom was diagnosed, she was continually talking about how she'd beat it. And that it was ok. I remember the first time she told me she had cancer. We were sitting in Tim Hortons. And she was the one reassuring me! Even in her last months, she really did not complain about the pain or the suffering she was enduring. What an example she was to me. I think I cried more and I complained more about her cancer than she did.
 Mom loved songs. I spent hours  in the last months singing hymns with her. On trips, we would sing silly songs. Sometimes dad hated it, though he never verbalized it. He'd roll his eyes though. songs like..." there's a hole in my bucket" or "one dark night" or "i'm being swallowed by a boa constricter". Many, many times, I remember mom sitting at my bedside at night singing "I have decided to follow Jesus." Now I sing that to my kids. And think of mom every time. In fact, the kids did a recording of that song for the video for mom's funeral. It was precious.
 I could literally fill pages and pages on my mom. I miss her so much. This mothers day is a tough one. But I'm trying to celebrate her memory and carry out her legacy. Yes, there are many tears that go with this day, but she really would want me celebrating. So I am trying. She was my best friend. And I can only hope to be such a good of mom as she was. She was there for me for everything. When I had a miscarriage, mom was the one to understand the best, as she had lost a child herself after a full term pregnancy and giving birth. Now, this mothers day, Mom is with her son again. And she is with  the grandchild she (nor I ) ever met due to the miscarriage. And she is with her mom. One day I will be with her again too. But in the meantime, I am just trying to continue life one day at a time.
 So what else about my mom? she loved God with all her heart and lived it out fully. There are lots of hypocrits in this world. And many people who are judgemental. Mom was neither. You talk about faith being shown in ones life.... she lived it. and showed it. And was completely a definition of a true servant.
Mom loved rhubarb. And strawberry cake. And spaghetti. She loved doing crafts with the grandkids.
We lived with her for 9 months when we moved from Florida to here. I didn't understand one tiny bit why at first, God was moving us to a place I said I'd never move back to....but I am so glad He did. I had 3.5 wonderful years these last years with mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Living with mom and dad gave my kids some wonderful memories of mom, too. Mom spent hours and hours taking care of my kids. She didn't care if they were sick. Or if it was early or late at night. She just loved it. And so did my kids.
 Like I said, I could fill pages. I loved...and still mom. It's a bond I will never have like that with any other person. And I miss her very much. Happy Mothers Day, Mom!

1 comment:

  1. Rachel, your love for your mama shines through what you wrote. And how you are as a mom & young adult shows you have the beautiful characteristics of Linda. The important thing is that both of you glow with the love of God. And that makes a mom & dad the happiest!