What if no one comes...
What if I don't have enough money to cover all this...
If I am being completely honest with you, these are the thoughts I have poking into my thought process so often these weeks, as I approach the unfolding of the Linda A. Ferguson Memorial 5K.
I actually don't like admitting these thoughts out loud, because for a brief moment, I'm letting you in to the secret fears I face. But I do so for a reason. (Bear with me...we'll get there, I promise)
This is normal for event planning, I think, even if all event planners don't admit those thoughts out loud. Quite honestly, I face these thoughts every year, and each year, God is patient with me, waiting for me to come around to a precious perspective-His perspective- yet again, where I realize I am not the one in control.
He has given me abilities to plan an event. He has given me resources to unveil new and exciting aspects to the event. He has planted a passion in my heart. But, it's not about me. It's about Him.
It's very easy to get caught up in the details of planning, sending emails, making calls, putting plans into motion. Those details are concretely in front of me. It's a greater challenge to remember in every little detail of what I do that this event is not because I love running. This event is not about being good at executing a plan. This event is not even about my mom. This event is about being a help to students in need.
Students who have a heart for God.
Students who can take His light to patients for generations to come, spread all over the world.
Students who may or may not be able to stay in nursing school without the Linda A. Ferguson scholarship.
And so I allow my "what if" statements to turn a little bit, for the more positive...
What if I didn't host this 5K?....Then there would be no scholarship
What if I didn't take the risk of failure? Then I would not experience God's faithful rewards of success.
What if I gave up when it got hard? Then I would never learn the powerful lessons of a precious perspective.
What if I allowed my insecure thoughts to rule my decisions? Then I would never grow, never become the woman God is shaping me to be, using these events, and these risks, and these precious perspectives to grown into her.
And so I allow God to transform all my "What If" Statements into a New Precious Perspective.
Below, you will see the picture of this year's Linda A. Ferguson Memorial Scholarship Award
This is why I get to do all that I do. This erases all those doubts, even if they return in a nagging manner, I am able to step out of them and get a precious perspective. This student below has a heart to take her nursing abilities overseas, to help less fortunate patients in less fortunate countries. This puts it all into a precious perspective for me.
I will still battle those "what if" statements; it's the nature of the beast for me. But, I dare to dream.
And I will allow this fresh, precious perspective to help me rise above those what ifs.