Thursday, June 20, 2013

Embrace the moment

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she kissed her sweet mama goodbye forever.
     Embrace the moments, she tells herself. They are gone all too quickly.

"Mom, please will you play a game with me?" Exhausted, she really didn't want to, but she remembered how quickly the moments are gone, so she says "Sure" with a smile and sits down with coffee in hand to play a game with her son. A moment in time stopped and captured in the heart of both mother and son.

"Mommy, will you please read to me?" Heartbroken and defeated from crying and grieving, she really didn't feel like reading. But then she recalled how life is so brief, so she sat down to read Amelia Bedelia with her daughter, only to end up in tears of laughter over the silliness of the book. A memory was made forever.

Her husband reminds her that one day the kids will be gone and it'll be just the 2 of them again . He asks for her to remember that life passes quickly, please remember the important things.  And so date nights become a purposeful, enjoyable time out and away  to rebuild.

The dishes sat in the sink. The laundry needed folded. The house really needed to be cleaned. Those reminders sat nagging in the back of the mind all day. And then her 9 year old says "Mommy, can we please jump on the trampoline?!"   A deep sigh, frustration of chores collected in mind, and exhaustion from the busiest sales day ever at work, she says "Yes. For at least 10 minutes."

She has a way to go in embracing the moments each time, but she desires to do that because she knows how quickly life passes by.

"She" is me.

Embracing the moments is so challenging when life screams at you to "Do. Do. Do." Stopping and allowing those beautiful memories to take shape is not an easy accomplishment. However, like a polaroid that captures a moment in time, so are the memories when we stop to embrace the moments.
  Moments like.....
     -My childrens laughter.
      - My husbands presence.
        - A conversation of listening to a fellow coffee lover who desperately needs someone to listen.
           - A cup of coffee with a friend.
             - A walk around the block with a neighbor
The moments are all around me, every day, to be taken in. Yet I so often am caught up in my "to do" list that I forget to stop and embrace the moments. yet, time doesn't stand still.
   Time doesn't stop for grief.
      Time doesn't stop for children growing up.
        Time doesn't slow down for a "growing old" together marriage
           Time doesn't slow down for growing friendships.

However, I am learning that when I stop....the moments are captured. When I slow down, I breathe in the beauty of memories made. I can embrace the moment......but I have to choose to do so.
   I have to choose to forget about my "to do" list sometimes.
     I have to choose to stop looking at all the mess around me and start looking at the moments in front of me.
       I have to choose to let go of what I am not and hold onto who I am.

         I have to allow God into the moment, and when I do, He opens my eyes to all that is around me. He opens my eyes to:
-To time with my kids. It has become so obvious to me that my time is so limited with my kids. They are rapidly growing. It's time I stop getting caught up in all the "to do" and start embracing the doing with them. Reading books, playing on the trampoline, taking walks, going to the park, having conversations, taking them to play dates, catching lightning bugs together.

-To the beauty around me. The sunshine. The warmth. The rain. The birds. The beauty.

-to the laughter. It's there. I can choose to be upset over small things, or I can choose to laugh at them.

-To the deep friendships I do have.

-To all He is creating me to be. To how He is molding me.

-To my gifts.

I cried endlessly when I let go of my mom. But I have so many beautiful memories with her. Memories that will forever be there. Memories I want my kids to have with me one day. Mom was always teaching me things through her life. And in her death she taught me that life is brief. I expected to have a lifetime of memories with my mom. I expected her to be here for my daughter becoming a young woman. I expected her to be here to go to the baseball games with us. I expected her to be here when I most need a hug or encouragement or someone to talk to. I expected her to be here for my lifetime. And yet at age 28, I had to say goodbye to her for this time on earth. But even as I sat by her bedside and said goodbye to her, she taught me. She taught me that life is brief. She taught me how life can change in just one moment. Blink, and the children are grown. Blink and the moment is gone. She taught me to  embrace life. She taught me to embrace the moments. She taught me that it was ok to leave dishes and to go play.  She taught me to live. And she taught me to let go. To let go of her. To let go of my to do list. To let go of the undone and see the accomplished. She taught me to "seize the day".
  So, I am reminded recently that one day; one moment at a time, I need to embrace my moments while they are here. Because all to quickly that can change.

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