Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I stand in awe

I sit here in front of my screen with awe in my heart and emotions captured inside me, ready to burst out of me, only to feel dumbfounded as to how to adequately express them to my audience.
  Last week held a number of emotions for me, leading up to the Linda A. Ferguson Memorial 5K. The event which I am fortunate enough to organize in memory of my beautiful mom. Just like a child who builds so much anticipation for Christmas morning, months led up with that building anticipation for me for the few hours that would unfold in the 2013 event.
  The week of, my body was screaming it had had enough, as I came down with what felt like the world's worst cold. It was a nudge in my side yet again reminding me, I can do nothing apart from the strength of Christ.
   Volunteers came together to bag up the shirts and numbers and "goodies" that each participant would get. Checks and even more registrations were rolling in. By God, all things were lining up in good fashion. All things were building the excitement and anticipation of Saturday's event.
   Family came in from out of town. Mom's friends from college even came in this year. The sounds of the chatter were becoming quite contagious.
   Saturday morning, I was up early and finishing up packing the car with last minute items, as is the normal for me on the day of the event. With a quick hug and kiss, I was out the door before the rest of my family.
  Upon arrival at the scene, my right hand buddy, Dawn, drove in right behind me. Without her help, I may have lost my mind (Not to mention my keys, which she assured me more than once were in her possession).  I had a great team of volunteers this year, allowing me to be free to direct better. Fast forward to the scurry moments of runners bustling about and friends and family showing up and more than ever for us on site registrants, we were feeling the buzz in the air, played to the beat of the DJ's music.
   Mom and dad's pastor arrived and we shared a small conversation. A little about mom, yes. But more so about what this event is all about: helping out the students who get the scholarship.  As the music quieted and prayer was beginning, I moved to my place to sound the starting horn. New course this year; new people this year; new emotions. I stood in awe. Literally.
 I stood in awe of God's provision for my strength and energy
   I stood in awe of the beauty of the day.
    I stood in awe of how far God has brought me since that day long ago when mom passed away.
    I stood in awe of the amount of runners crowding in this year.
      I stood in awe of what months of planning ultimately led up to in that moment.
   And I'd like to think mom was standing in heaven looking down on the moment as well.

Not crying took all the energy I had, but I held it together and sounded the horn and they took off! I exhaled deeply and took it all in. God is so good.
  The day went on without a hitch, quite honestly. Michael took care of making sure all was well on the course.The kids ran/walked the event. My brother jogged his way strongly through it and dad finished the event in his blue jeans, true to his normal, only this year, he added on a utility knife to his belt to make it even more picturesque.
   I held it together fairly well until the very end, when I allowed a few precious tears to fall. Tears of joy over raising more funds this year than we ever have yet; tears of exhaustion; tears of gratitude for all the support I felt from all those who came out for what we are trying to accomplish; and yes, a few tears  for the missed presence of my mom.
 Words don't do the emotions justice. I left the event with a very full heart. And renewed excitement for putting together an even better one next year, by God's grace.
  I stand in awe, as I was incredibly humbled this year through this experience. God taught me a lot on the journey traveled through the planning of the 2013 5K and I know He will continue to teach me as it continues to grow.
  I stand in awe.

No comments:

Post a Comment