I decided to take a break from all my grief blogging. Well, a small break anyway. I've had a lot on my mind lately and I have been processing some pretty intense emotions as I continue to walk through this journey. But as I do this, I am really very thankful for some very faithful friends in my life. And I wanted to take time here to mention them. Without these friends, I don't think I could get through this totally. Also without these friends, I wouldn't be entirely who I am. They encourage me and help me and just make me a better person a lot of times. So I want to just share a few names and say just how much gratitude is in my heart for these people.
-My husband, Michael. I could simply not make it through this period of grief and change without him. It has certainly been no piece of cake or predictable journey for him, either. As my moods change day to day, he has been faithful in loving me through them. He has endured an unpredictable roller coaster-the ups and downs are unseen until i am on them. And he has been riding by my side the whole way. It doesn't mean it's been easy by any means, but it is making us stronger. I love him dearly. And I am so thankful to have him. Without him, this time would be even more dark. He has displayed Love is patient....
-My dad. I love him. I admire him. He is stronger than I am much of the time. His faith is enormous. Our friendship has grown through this. I couldn't make it through missing mom without dad. Many times, he is the only one who truly understands, because I know his pain must reach more deep than mine does. And yet is like a rock through all this. Being out at the farm with him is really one of my most favorite places to be. We support each other. I see mom's love being lived out through him still. I am thankful for my dad.
-Janet. What a friend. There are not even words to say how grateful I am for her support and love each and every step of the way. I am so thankful that God brought us together as friends. She has been the most faithful friend through all this-always asking almost every day how I am doing. Praying for me, with me. Sending a note my way. Being there during the time of the funeral. Loving on my kids in superior ways. Helping them through this time as much as she is helping me. She has encouraged me daily. And supported me with scripture and prayer and hugs and kind words. Or sometimes just by saying nothing at all.She has also shared loving words to make me ponder if my actions are justified. But she's never made me feel judged for any of the emotions. She's a living example of Christ. She has endured listening to my every tear and every frustration and every fear. She is a blessing.
-Brandon and Saralee. also quite faithful friends in different ways . Quiet supporters, always there for me any time I've needed to call or cry or just be me. Loving words, also correcting words. A Hug. prayerful for me and my family. An incredible support through time of need. Precious friends.
-Doug and Ten-2 friends we have had for our whole married life. They have been there for eery single things we have gone through-from our wedding, to birth of children, to all of our moves, to mom's sickness and death, to the marathons and the 5K. They are a picture of true friendship. They come at the drop of a hat. I can always count on them. We always laugh together. Sometimes I cry. But they always listen. And sometimes they help take mind off things and help me to remember how to have fun. Words can't even say how much their friendship means.
-Netta. She has been with me every step of the way as well. We grew up together. She is like a sister to me. She lived next door to me my whole life. Her mom was my aunt as well as my mom her aunt, just because our families are so close. She has been a tremendous support to me and probably the one who has understood the best. She not only has spent time praying, she has cooked meals and gone out of her way to help in so many different areas. She has called me and talked with me and asked questions and listened like only Netta can do. She has walked this loss with me. She was even there the very moment mom died-that's how much she is family. I could not get through this time without her.
-Kitty. Kitty has spent countless hours listening to me. And she has always given sound advice. She prays. And she follows up all the time. She has been one I have felt comfortable calling in the darkest of my moments. Kitty is a blessing from God. She is one to whom I will forever be grateful
-Julie. Also a long time faithful friend of mine. Once a mentor. Probalby could really still be called that! She is a precious friend. She has spoken truths to me at times when no one else knew what to say. She has listened to all my hurts and sorrows and she has loved me and prayed for me. She has helped me push through one perspective to see another view. She is a treasure.
-Jenny. Jenny has walked the path of grief and depression and has understood my issues as if she were speaking them herself. She has been a constant encouragement and a faithful prayer friend. She also has been one faithful to respond to my questions and my fears. God is using her in my life because of the difficult path of grief she already walked. I hope one day I can be used as she is ....
-Mindy. I've known Mindy for years. Mindy knew my mom. In fact, we had a lot of laughing times as kids growing up with my mom. Recently Mindy moved back and we've reconnected, and it's been a God moment to do so. We've leaned hard on each other through some pretty rough days, and it usually happens when she is having a good day, I am not and vice versa. She is a treasure in my life, and I am so glad to have reconnected. We laugh together a lot. And we cry, too. Mindy is a gift to me.
I've also made some new friends along the way:
-Annette. She understands loss . And she has helped me better understand mine. And since she is on the other side of hers now, I can see that there will be healing. God is using her.
-My work crew-especially Kim,Tiffany and Nellie. I laugh so very hard with these 3. We have a great time together. And since we work together daily, we can certainly understand a lot about each other. Tiffany has become my morning running partner, and that has been fun, too. Each of them is a blessing in a unique way. David, my boss, also fits into this category. He's fun to work with and I am thankful for the opportunity. He brings a creative flare to every day and that's always fun and interesting. being at this new job has been huge blessing and has helped me through my grief, even if that is one place where I really don't talk about it.
I know that I could keep mentioning people. A handful of my very best friends live in FL and LA and so it's harder to share the grief, but they still have been faithful friends. Some people have touched my life in just a one time interaction. Others continue to do so. I realize in writing this, that I am so blessed. I really do have a great support system. In the months to come, I will likely begin recalling details of what was happening at this time last year. We are about to hit some pivotal dates i will never forget. But for today, I just wanted to be thankful. And take that into tomorrow and continue to do so one day at a time. Because even though grief sucks, there are still rainbows through the rainstorms. These people are just a few of those...
Until next time, the journey of getting through all this continues and one day a time, healing continues to come.