Many months have passed since I've taken time to write here about the little things of life.
Those moments that create a mental picture in the memory that weeks later will bring a smile to my face. It is important to slow down and recognize those, no matter how chaotic life can get. As I sit on the patio, taking a few moments to be still this morning after a very busy week, entering into an even busier one, I just want to recognize those moments...
~ a gentle breeze, tickling my skin underneath the blue sky, refreshing my soul
~ the sound of cicadas in the yard... the beautiful sound of summer. Oh, how I wish time would slow down some moments so I could just drink in this one moment and recall it in the days of chaos.
~ A bike ride with the sunrise. Even if not a leisurely one, nonetheless it is a time that still finds joy and smiles and laughs and the beauty of God all around. (And a humble reminder that it is good to do exercises other than running, that my body needs more sometimes)
~ I love people. I enjoy talking and listening. I like conversations and laughter. I enjoy the presence of others around me. But I also have learned who the solid few are in my circle at all times. And I am thankful for that handful of friends. Those who stick by me, believe in me, encourage me and knock me over the head when I need it.
~ Good books. I have enjoyed this summer having time to read.
~ moments with my kids. More than ever, I recognize how my time with them is rapidly disappearing. I am taking advantage of soaking up those moments a little more lately.
These are just a few of the little things through the week. What were yours? Did you take time to see them in the midst of your busy schedule? I'm re-learning to do that.
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Sunday, August 4, 2019
Why Not Me?
"The craziest thing we can do is nothing." -Charity: Water
Two weeks ago I celebrated my 37th birthday. I had a very nice day, but being the person I am, milestone days such as that always create a time for me to pause and reflect on the prior year and the year going forward. Writing feels like it became a lost art in the midst of a busy time of life, and when I was recently challenged to do something that makes me happy every day for the next 6 weeks, I chose to bring writing back into the mix. It's not the only thing I chose, so I won't write every day, but you may see me pop up here in the next few weeks a little more often.
For my birthday, my daughter took me book shopping and out for coffee. Three of my favorite things: being with her, finding a book, and enjoying coffee. My days with her are fleeing, as she goes into her Senior year. We laughed, we spent a few hours (literally) browsing books, getting excited and narrowing them down to a couple. It was a special time. The book I chose was called Thirst, which is about a man who formed a charity. I highly encourage the read of the book, as his story is compelling and inspiring. I won't retell his story here, but it brought thoughts into my mind's process of life as it stands today.
His charity is the one who coined the phrase "The craziest thing we can do is nothing." I kind of fell in love with that phrase. Now, doing nothing sometimes is a good idea- to slow down, to rest, to take in the moments. I don't think he was meaning to say always be busy. The point is that when we see a need, doing nothing about it is crazy. If we aren't here to help others, to offer a hand when someone is down, to say an encouraging word, to love the hurting, to buy someone coffee and just listen, to bring laughs instead of anger, to give a hug.... then why? The craziest thing we can do is nothing...
Something that has been said to me before is "Why does it have to be you?" My response is... "Why NOT me?" I am not rich. I am not famous. I do not have a million hours to give. I am one person in the scheme of billions on this planet. But why not me? God takes the most broken, the most beat up stories often and uses them for multiplying His kingdom through love. Why not me? I get crazy ideas often. It usually happens when I am out running, clearing my head, moving slowly, but just letting the thoughts flow. Not every idea is a good one, but if I simply said "Nah... not me..." I would not be who I am.
I've also been learning that sometimes the best Yes we get is actually a No... but that can be very hard to accept. However, a "no" doesn't mean walk away. A "no" can mean knock on another door. Don't give up. Keep going. And through the process, learn. Through the process, grow. And keep going. Keep being you. A no can mean a yes to a greater opportunity. I've seen that, I'm learning that. I am applying that in several ways.
I chose the word Purpose at the beginning on 2019 and I don't think I've ever felt more impact from a word reiterating itself to me all year long. I am reminded who I am. As I can at times be told no, I recall I have a greater purpose and I carry on with that, one step at a time.
Through this last year, moments I have not blogged include a solo trip to Colombia, which was the most impactful ever, graduating with my associates (and soon to enter my bachelor degree pursuit), trips to various new locations, and I've gained new friends. I have done tasks in my job to be honest no one will ever know I did, I have faced ugly confrontations that brought out a side to me I didn't know I had, and I have learned to say no - (saying it can be as hard as accepting it at times). I have learned the value of true friendship.
I have new crazy ideas brewing, which include the start up of a non-profit foundation (which was born in my head nearly a year ago, I said no several times, but now we are in pursuit of doing it... hence I say No sometimes is just a redirection to a new Yes).
I want to close by telling a story. Bear with me. It is significant, I promise.
You all know Colombia is dear to me. In March 2019 I made a trip there solo. It changed my life, even more than I already had been. We traveled to 16 communities. I listened. I asked questions. I learned. When I came home, a foundation I had worked with going into the trip bought several bags from the Indigenous tribe, the Zenú. When I delivered the bags, the founder told me of a project my church was launching into (that I had not learned of at that point) to pack boxes of dry meals that get shipped to people in need. Long story short, my church agreed to pack those meals to be sent to Colombia, something the organization has never done.
My church packed 40,797 meals! I was blown away.
Next, it was my task to figure out the shipping. It was going to cost $5,000 to ship it in containers. That felt daunting, but not impossible. I began conversations. Through an accidental mentioning, I got the crazy idea to ask a contact in the Air Force if there were any planes going to Colombia. I knew it was far-fetched. But I asked. And through that, I got a YES! There is a program that exists to do such shipments. Well, through that, the foundation learned of it, and had un-designated meals in their warehouse, and decided to add to what we had packed... and through that, we now will send 285,000 meals to Colombia! It is incredible!!
Now, we have run into some hiccups with the paperwork on the Colombian side, but I am not giving up. That is not uncommon to happen. A "no" can just be a redirection. Through this redirection, I have met others doing work in Colombia. Through meeting those others, more forces can be joined together to create a difference. We aren't there yet with our final solution, but I do have faith it is within reach...
So, my friend, the craziest thing I can do is nothing. What if I hadn't gone to Colombia? What if my church didn't pack food? What if I didn't ask the Air Force about taking it in? What if....
I don't share this story to say "Yay, Rachael!" In fact, I hesitated to share it. But I share it because I am learning that stepping out of our comfort zones, pushing through hard changes, making asks, risking "no"... those are applications to make this next year. And maybe the story will inspire or encourage you to do the same.
So, Why Not me? May this year be my craziest year yet!
Two weeks ago I celebrated my 37th birthday. I had a very nice day, but being the person I am, milestone days such as that always create a time for me to pause and reflect on the prior year and the year going forward. Writing feels like it became a lost art in the midst of a busy time of life, and when I was recently challenged to do something that makes me happy every day for the next 6 weeks, I chose to bring writing back into the mix. It's not the only thing I chose, so I won't write every day, but you may see me pop up here in the next few weeks a little more often.
For my birthday, my daughter took me book shopping and out for coffee. Three of my favorite things: being with her, finding a book, and enjoying coffee. My days with her are fleeing, as she goes into her Senior year. We laughed, we spent a few hours (literally) browsing books, getting excited and narrowing them down to a couple. It was a special time. The book I chose was called Thirst, which is about a man who formed a charity. I highly encourage the read of the book, as his story is compelling and inspiring. I won't retell his story here, but it brought thoughts into my mind's process of life as it stands today.
His charity is the one who coined the phrase "The craziest thing we can do is nothing." I kind of fell in love with that phrase. Now, doing nothing sometimes is a good idea- to slow down, to rest, to take in the moments. I don't think he was meaning to say always be busy. The point is that when we see a need, doing nothing about it is crazy. If we aren't here to help others, to offer a hand when someone is down, to say an encouraging word, to love the hurting, to buy someone coffee and just listen, to bring laughs instead of anger, to give a hug.... then why? The craziest thing we can do is nothing...
Something that has been said to me before is "Why does it have to be you?" My response is... "Why NOT me?" I am not rich. I am not famous. I do not have a million hours to give. I am one person in the scheme of billions on this planet. But why not me? God takes the most broken, the most beat up stories often and uses them for multiplying His kingdom through love. Why not me? I get crazy ideas often. It usually happens when I am out running, clearing my head, moving slowly, but just letting the thoughts flow. Not every idea is a good one, but if I simply said "Nah... not me..." I would not be who I am.
I've also been learning that sometimes the best Yes we get is actually a No... but that can be very hard to accept. However, a "no" doesn't mean walk away. A "no" can mean knock on another door. Don't give up. Keep going. And through the process, learn. Through the process, grow. And keep going. Keep being you. A no can mean a yes to a greater opportunity. I've seen that, I'm learning that. I am applying that in several ways.
I chose the word Purpose at the beginning on 2019 and I don't think I've ever felt more impact from a word reiterating itself to me all year long. I am reminded who I am. As I can at times be told no, I recall I have a greater purpose and I carry on with that, one step at a time.
Through this last year, moments I have not blogged include a solo trip to Colombia, which was the most impactful ever, graduating with my associates (and soon to enter my bachelor degree pursuit), trips to various new locations, and I've gained new friends. I have done tasks in my job to be honest no one will ever know I did, I have faced ugly confrontations that brought out a side to me I didn't know I had, and I have learned to say no - (saying it can be as hard as accepting it at times). I have learned the value of true friendship.
I have new crazy ideas brewing, which include the start up of a non-profit foundation (which was born in my head nearly a year ago, I said no several times, but now we are in pursuit of doing it... hence I say No sometimes is just a redirection to a new Yes).
I want to close by telling a story. Bear with me. It is significant, I promise.
You all know Colombia is dear to me. In March 2019 I made a trip there solo. It changed my life, even more than I already had been. We traveled to 16 communities. I listened. I asked questions. I learned. When I came home, a foundation I had worked with going into the trip bought several bags from the Indigenous tribe, the Zenú. When I delivered the bags, the founder told me of a project my church was launching into (that I had not learned of at that point) to pack boxes of dry meals that get shipped to people in need. Long story short, my church agreed to pack those meals to be sent to Colombia, something the organization has never done.
My church packed 40,797 meals! I was blown away.
Next, it was my task to figure out the shipping. It was going to cost $5,000 to ship it in containers. That felt daunting, but not impossible. I began conversations. Through an accidental mentioning, I got the crazy idea to ask a contact in the Air Force if there were any planes going to Colombia. I knew it was far-fetched. But I asked. And through that, I got a YES! There is a program that exists to do such shipments. Well, through that, the foundation learned of it, and had un-designated meals in their warehouse, and decided to add to what we had packed... and through that, we now will send 285,000 meals to Colombia! It is incredible!!
Now, we have run into some hiccups with the paperwork on the Colombian side, but I am not giving up. That is not uncommon to happen. A "no" can just be a redirection. Through this redirection, I have met others doing work in Colombia. Through meeting those others, more forces can be joined together to create a difference. We aren't there yet with our final solution, but I do have faith it is within reach...
So, my friend, the craziest thing I can do is nothing. What if I hadn't gone to Colombia? What if my church didn't pack food? What if I didn't ask the Air Force about taking it in? What if....
I don't share this story to say "Yay, Rachael!" In fact, I hesitated to share it. But I share it because I am learning that stepping out of our comfort zones, pushing through hard changes, making asks, risking "no"... those are applications to make this next year. And maybe the story will inspire or encourage you to do the same.
So, Why Not me? May this year be my craziest year yet!
Monday, April 29, 2019
Purpose...Step by Step
Step by step, life is a process.
That has been a theme and a revolving conversation of mine recently. A lesson that I am drinking in and embracing.
The reality is that I could write a book from the experiences that I have had this year alone, and this blog today isn't the most stand out moment of all of them, but perhaps it is easier to find words to describe this one, so I share...
For 2019, I chose the word PURPOSE as my word. I want to live with purpose in everything I do. I want to discover my purpose and fulfill it every day to the best of my ability through God's grace. I am a mom, yes. I am a wife, of course. I work a job. But I do believe that each person has a calling for something special in life, that can go hand in hand with all of those parts of life, but is unique to the gifts God gives each individual.
So for 2019, I have been working to make decisions with purpose (with lots of prayer).
The reality is I could make this very long (shocker, I know!) but today I write to share about my race experience. Bear with me please. Purpose does build into this story.
I have now been running for 10 years. 10 years ago I completed my first half marathon and have never turned back since. The sport became one that helped me realize I can do more than I thought possible, I can accomplish goals I once thought "never", and I am more than what others say or what I may think of myself. Running isn't something magical, but it is definitely a part of my life that has helped me.
Running has helped me grieve the loss of my mom. Running has taught me that I am capable. Running has helped me get out of bed on days when depression wanted to keep me under the covers. Running gave me goals and taught me that sometimes a goal isn't always about reaching the exact goal, but is often times more about what you learn along the way. Running has helped me raise $20,000+ in scholarships in memory of my mom and $8,000+ (so far) in donations for keeping the clinic open in Colombia. Running pushes me to continue being a better me.
Over the last year and a half, I never quit running, but I had to make other areas of life a stronger priority. That means I have not done a half marathon for over a year and a half. Yes, I did other smaller races, but for me, a half marathon is the distance that pushes my limits beyond what feel capable. So for me, the half marathon, while I may curse it along the route at times, is my favorite. It is HARD for me. Running isn't natural, I have to work at it. I have never been and never will be a fast runner. I have run many races across several states (though many to go!) and met many people.
Well, I share all of this to say that for the first time since October 2017 I completed a half marathon again. And I want to share about the experience. For me, many times the training process is what has taught me in the end about myself. But, I have to say as part of this blog, that my training was, well, a lack of training. While I know everything one should be doing to be a good runner (I know how to train, I know the nutrition, I know about hydration....) I was the perfect example of not doing those things.
When I chose my word Purpose for the year, I decided that I wanted to get back to running some races. It isn't because running is my purpose. But through running, I tend to discover more of my purpose because of what I learn through it. Also, it is being purposeful in my health when I stick to my running.
I knew that this winter was going to be a bit nutty for me as I was in 3 classes, had travel for work, travel for Colombia among other things. But I was determined. So I chose a race that fit into life's schedule and set out to prepare for that race.
Well, let me be honest. Winter happened and there was a part of me that just struggled to get outside in the cold. I did it, but I did not do it well. Taking 3 classes may not seem like a big deal, but for me it was definitely more difficult than 2. (But I was on a path to graduate and did not want to deter that.)
Life in general happened and priorities overcame miles many times. Long story short, I didn't train well but I still wanted to do this race.
Why did I want to?
This race represented purpose for me. Why? Because this race symbolized something for me that possibly only me and God are going to understand, but it was a race I needed to do. Let me explain.
This race was very hard for me. In part because I didn't train so well. In part because in the midst of these months of choosing purpose for my word, I have confronted doubts and naysayers and hard moments that have created questions inside me, but I continue to pray, to search those out and to push forward. This race symbolized that for me. Because this race was hard and I didn't give up.
This race symbolized for me the journey I have been on the last 3 years going towards my associates degree and the fact that it has been a step by step process, which is exactly what a race is... one step at a time... and that next weekend I will walk across the stage and obtain my associates degree! For me that is a huge deal!
This race symbolized that putting the mind to something, with the strength of Christ even at my weakest moments, one step at at time ... with HIs leading... all things are truly possible!
This race symbolized for me purpose, not because running is my purpose, but because it represented the determination it takes to follow after purpose. But even more so for me, it represented that when I am weak, HE is strong. And that is where the greatest purpose comes from.
Let me tell you a few words about this race.... and then I'll wrap up my long-winded story of the journey of this half marathon.
I got up at 2:30 am to go to this race because it was a 2.5 hour drive.
My friend, Brenda, and I have been in this journey together in our own ways. She's a super cool gal, and we met through the YMCA. We chit chat at the gym, she has supported my endeavors through schooling and my dreams on the horizon and we discuss fitness goals and food. So, Brenda signed up to do this race with me. She was aiming for a PR....
Like 2 crazy gals, we set out on the road at 3:30 am.
Me.... I'd forgotten my cup of coffee I'd prepared, but oh well. She was with her chest cold that had come on. But we were both determined to do this and to have fun.
It was raining the entire drive, although it didn't show on the forecast, and that was not an exciting thing, as it was April 28 and 40 degrees! BRR.
Well, we got there fine and I could not find my headphones in the car at all (yes I am a runner who uses music to get through...) which was incredibly frustrating, but I decided that perhaps that was meant to be. Perhaps praying through the miles was part of the purpose of this race. So I moved on from that frustration.
We arrived to our corral and off we went. I won't take you through every mile of the race. Brenda and I would run bits together. I felt pretty decent, but I knew it was going to be hard and I would struggle further in. Well, miles 7 and 8 Brenda and I were together much of the race.
I was spending each mile praying about something specific in my heart, which helped pass the moments of the event as well.
At mile 9, Brenda kept going, but I was losing steam. I have learned my limits. So I knew to listen to my body. I didn't quit, but it was tough. Miles 10 and 11 my stomach wasn't so hot and so I knew to slow down or I was going to vomit. I am one who pushes myself, so slowing down is painful emotionally for me, but I knew it was necessary. And honestly my goal in this event was to finish, not to get some superb finish time. My goal was about the journey of pushing through the hard and the hurt to find the finish line (literally of a race, metaphorically of graduation, of goals, of dreams...)
Admitedly, at mile 11 I was semi-dehydrated. Rookie mistakes here, people, but I am being honest. And annoyingly the race had run out of cups. But I was in need of the water, so when I hit the next station, I cupped my hands and let them pour water from the pitcher into them so I could drink. Seriously silly rookie moment, but hey, part of the experience. As a race organizer, perhaps kind of annoying they were out of cups, but I pressed on.... My goal was to not have my worst finish time ever (which would simply be my time against my very first half marathon)
And in the end I did beat that time, so I was happy....
Brenda PR'd and I was super proud of her for that.
And finishing this race made me happy. I can't explain it fully, but sometimes the experiences are so personal, so deep, that no one else is going to get them. It felt good to finish that race. And the representation of what it means to me will forever stand strong.
It wasn't about my end time. It wasn't about the race itself. It was about the representation of one step at a time, goals can be accomplished and life has to often be looked at in baby steps. If I looked at mile 13 when I was at mile 1, it would have been a bit discouraging. But in steps, it became accomplishable. If I looked at my college degree taking 3 years (well, with still 2 more to go) I would probably feel like quitting, but here I stand about to receive that associates degree in less than a week. It was about pushing through the hard to reach the goal. It was about knowing inside of me, more exists than what others can see or understand. And (especiallly without my headphones) it was about purpose in my journey and walking with God and talking with Him about those next steps and being grateful for how far the past steps have brought me.
Much of our life events, our successes or even failures, our goals, are about walking through a process. It is not fast. But it is purposeful....
One step at at time....
That has been a theme and a revolving conversation of mine recently. A lesson that I am drinking in and embracing.
The reality is that I could write a book from the experiences that I have had this year alone, and this blog today isn't the most stand out moment of all of them, but perhaps it is easier to find words to describe this one, so I share...
For 2019, I chose the word PURPOSE as my word. I want to live with purpose in everything I do. I want to discover my purpose and fulfill it every day to the best of my ability through God's grace. I am a mom, yes. I am a wife, of course. I work a job. But I do believe that each person has a calling for something special in life, that can go hand in hand with all of those parts of life, but is unique to the gifts God gives each individual.
So for 2019, I have been working to make decisions with purpose (with lots of prayer).
The reality is I could make this very long (shocker, I know!) but today I write to share about my race experience. Bear with me please. Purpose does build into this story.
I have now been running for 10 years. 10 years ago I completed my first half marathon and have never turned back since. The sport became one that helped me realize I can do more than I thought possible, I can accomplish goals I once thought "never", and I am more than what others say or what I may think of myself. Running isn't something magical, but it is definitely a part of my life that has helped me.
Running has helped me grieve the loss of my mom. Running has taught me that I am capable. Running has helped me get out of bed on days when depression wanted to keep me under the covers. Running gave me goals and taught me that sometimes a goal isn't always about reaching the exact goal, but is often times more about what you learn along the way. Running has helped me raise $20,000+ in scholarships in memory of my mom and $8,000+ (so far) in donations for keeping the clinic open in Colombia. Running pushes me to continue being a better me.
Over the last year and a half, I never quit running, but I had to make other areas of life a stronger priority. That means I have not done a half marathon for over a year and a half. Yes, I did other smaller races, but for me, a half marathon is the distance that pushes my limits beyond what feel capable. So for me, the half marathon, while I may curse it along the route at times, is my favorite. It is HARD for me. Running isn't natural, I have to work at it. I have never been and never will be a fast runner. I have run many races across several states (though many to go!) and met many people.
Well, I share all of this to say that for the first time since October 2017 I completed a half marathon again. And I want to share about the experience. For me, many times the training process is what has taught me in the end about myself. But, I have to say as part of this blog, that my training was, well, a lack of training. While I know everything one should be doing to be a good runner (I know how to train, I know the nutrition, I know about hydration....) I was the perfect example of not doing those things.
When I chose my word Purpose for the year, I decided that I wanted to get back to running some races. It isn't because running is my purpose. But through running, I tend to discover more of my purpose because of what I learn through it. Also, it is being purposeful in my health when I stick to my running.
I knew that this winter was going to be a bit nutty for me as I was in 3 classes, had travel for work, travel for Colombia among other things. But I was determined. So I chose a race that fit into life's schedule and set out to prepare for that race.
Well, let me be honest. Winter happened and there was a part of me that just struggled to get outside in the cold. I did it, but I did not do it well. Taking 3 classes may not seem like a big deal, but for me it was definitely more difficult than 2. (But I was on a path to graduate and did not want to deter that.)
Life in general happened and priorities overcame miles many times. Long story short, I didn't train well but I still wanted to do this race.
Why did I want to?
This race represented purpose for me. Why? Because this race symbolized something for me that possibly only me and God are going to understand, but it was a race I needed to do. Let me explain.
This race was very hard for me. In part because I didn't train so well. In part because in the midst of these months of choosing purpose for my word, I have confronted doubts and naysayers and hard moments that have created questions inside me, but I continue to pray, to search those out and to push forward. This race symbolized that for me. Because this race was hard and I didn't give up.
This race symbolized for me the journey I have been on the last 3 years going towards my associates degree and the fact that it has been a step by step process, which is exactly what a race is... one step at a time... and that next weekend I will walk across the stage and obtain my associates degree! For me that is a huge deal!
This race symbolized that putting the mind to something, with the strength of Christ even at my weakest moments, one step at at time ... with HIs leading... all things are truly possible!
This race symbolized for me purpose, not because running is my purpose, but because it represented the determination it takes to follow after purpose. But even more so for me, it represented that when I am weak, HE is strong. And that is where the greatest purpose comes from.
Let me tell you a few words about this race.... and then I'll wrap up my long-winded story of the journey of this half marathon.
I got up at 2:30 am to go to this race because it was a 2.5 hour drive.
My friend, Brenda, and I have been in this journey together in our own ways. She's a super cool gal, and we met through the YMCA. We chit chat at the gym, she has supported my endeavors through schooling and my dreams on the horizon and we discuss fitness goals and food. So, Brenda signed up to do this race with me. She was aiming for a PR....
Like 2 crazy gals, we set out on the road at 3:30 am.
Me.... I'd forgotten my cup of coffee I'd prepared, but oh well. She was with her chest cold that had come on. But we were both determined to do this and to have fun.
It was raining the entire drive, although it didn't show on the forecast, and that was not an exciting thing, as it was April 28 and 40 degrees! BRR.
Well, we got there fine and I could not find my headphones in the car at all (yes I am a runner who uses music to get through...) which was incredibly frustrating, but I decided that perhaps that was meant to be. Perhaps praying through the miles was part of the purpose of this race. So I moved on from that frustration.
We arrived to our corral and off we went. I won't take you through every mile of the race. Brenda and I would run bits together. I felt pretty decent, but I knew it was going to be hard and I would struggle further in. Well, miles 7 and 8 Brenda and I were together much of the race.
I was spending each mile praying about something specific in my heart, which helped pass the moments of the event as well.
At mile 9, Brenda kept going, but I was losing steam. I have learned my limits. So I knew to listen to my body. I didn't quit, but it was tough. Miles 10 and 11 my stomach wasn't so hot and so I knew to slow down or I was going to vomit. I am one who pushes myself, so slowing down is painful emotionally for me, but I knew it was necessary. And honestly my goal in this event was to finish, not to get some superb finish time. My goal was about the journey of pushing through the hard and the hurt to find the finish line (literally of a race, metaphorically of graduation, of goals, of dreams...)
Admitedly, at mile 11 I was semi-dehydrated. Rookie mistakes here, people, but I am being honest. And annoyingly the race had run out of cups. But I was in need of the water, so when I hit the next station, I cupped my hands and let them pour water from the pitcher into them so I could drink. Seriously silly rookie moment, but hey, part of the experience. As a race organizer, perhaps kind of annoying they were out of cups, but I pressed on.... My goal was to not have my worst finish time ever (which would simply be my time against my very first half marathon)
And in the end I did beat that time, so I was happy....
Brenda PR'd and I was super proud of her for that.
And finishing this race made me happy. I can't explain it fully, but sometimes the experiences are so personal, so deep, that no one else is going to get them. It felt good to finish that race. And the representation of what it means to me will forever stand strong.
It wasn't about my end time. It wasn't about the race itself. It was about the representation of one step at a time, goals can be accomplished and life has to often be looked at in baby steps. If I looked at mile 13 when I was at mile 1, it would have been a bit discouraging. But in steps, it became accomplishable. If I looked at my college degree taking 3 years (well, with still 2 more to go) I would probably feel like quitting, but here I stand about to receive that associates degree in less than a week. It was about pushing through the hard to reach the goal. It was about knowing inside of me, more exists than what others can see or understand. And (especiallly without my headphones) it was about purpose in my journey and walking with God and talking with Him about those next steps and being grateful for how far the past steps have brought me.
Much of our life events, our successes or even failures, our goals, are about walking through a process. It is not fast. But it is purposeful....
One step at at time....
Monday, December 31, 2018
2018 Colombian Adventures
This year I was blessed to travel to Colombia twice and get the additional experience of translating for 2 of my Colombian friends when they were in the US for a missions conference.
My experiences in Colombia have been life-changing. 20 years ago I felt a deep desire to serve God with Spanish speaking skills in a Latin American country. It has come full circle, and it looks different than I had envisioned as a 16 year old girl, but that's what makes God so awesome.
Things take time... Our plans are not always His. I'd abandoned that dream and here He had a plan all along. I love being able to see that.
I have a difficult time summing up into adequate words what it is that my Colombian travels have taught me. Each trip grows me in new ways. I have found some of my closest friends in life, even though separated by miles. I have been challenged in my faith. I have learned how to speak the language better and I have a hundred + stories of ways I have seen God move. How can I place here the lessons these beautiful people, this rich culture have taught me? It's a challenge. Here are a few from this year....
- Relationships are so much more important than things.
One thing I have noticed strongly of them in this year is that they don't speak poorly of one another. They would have every reason to be frustrated or angry just as much as we, here, get frustrated with our family or friends. Only I noticed the significant difference in how they respond. They cautiously word themselves. They even will often say "I don't want to damage anyone...."
I have thought on that a lot because I feel like here petty gossip is found in every corner. I know as hard as I try, I am guilty of this at times. In discussing this, I think that it boils down to they are a people who value people. Relationships are everything to them. To damage a person, even if that person has hurt them, is the last thing they want to do. People matter. Things don't. Whatever upsets them isn't worth tarnishing the other person in the process. That's beautiful. Are they perfect? No... but on more than one occasion, I saw this take place and it did not go unnoticed. It has challenged me.
- Happiness is not based on money, materials or location
Now, the Colombians have been teaching me this since day 1. I have watched them live off nothing. But the more I've been able to develop my relationships with them, the more I see this. The more I ask questions and learn about their culture, the more I see the "material" poverty they truly experience. I realize just how little they have. Most of my friends there can fit all their belongings into one suitcase. The majority of them live off dollars... A MONTH! Not a day, but a month. Many of them have moved once or twice. But more times than I can count, they are telling me "God will provide... God is good." They are full of joy. Yes, they have hurts and frustrations, too, don't get me wrong. But in the midst of those, they laugh, they smile, they may cry but they soon pick themselves up and say "God's got this." I am not sure this lesson will ever cease to speak to me. It's beautiful and humbling. And challenges me all the time. I have ZERO reason to be complaining.
Yes, life here is different so the struggles are different. But they teach me perspective every day. I am lucky enough to get to speak with them each day and they are forever reshaping my views in good ways. Reminding me I'm loved and blessed. Reminding me of what is important
- Laugh often
I cry a lot, I admit. Crying expresses my hurts, my anger, my sadness, and my joy. So, yes, I cry often. But they laugh a lot. And it is contagious. I could be having the worst of days and get a call or message from them and their laughter is contagious. I want to laugh more. I want to shine that same joy that they have taught me. Besides the times with my mom in the past and the moments I get with my sister, I don't laugh as hard as I do when I am with them. Even if it has meant laughing at my own self.
I have learned so much from them, there are no adequate words. Live life to its fullest. In the bad and in the good, live life every day. Take chances. Say yes. Serve Jesus. Sing songs. Dance. Cry. Live life in whatever capacity is possible. Life is found in the moments, not in the materials. I knew this. But it reshaped in new ways. Meanwhile, I am asking hundreds of questions to better understand their culture and not impose mine. I am listening as much as they are willing to share. I am soaking in new perspectives that really remind me how blessed I am. I have struggles, yes. I fight depression, yes. But I do have so many blessings. They don't quit when they so easily could. Neither will I. What will a new year bring, people are asking? 365 opportunities.
They live that. I want to as well.
And hopefully I can teach that to those around me.
Friday, December 28, 2018
Reflecting on 2018 Fitness
Running... TRX... those are my fitness go-tos.
I love running because it teaches me I can do things I never thought possible, and it gives me determination to not quit. I love to run because when I run, I am free. My mind opens up in beautiful ways. I clear my head; I pound out frustration in ever step; I fight the anxieties and depression and I have the space to be free of that for 30 minutes; I breathe in fresh air and drink in the nature of the gorgeous sunrises, the fresh falling snow, the shining moon against a star-lit sky, the deer romping in the park and birds singing the spring songs of welcoming new days. I feel and see God around me and I enjoy myself before the world's worries come crashing in through the day.
TRX has become a way of fitness I discovered by accident, but have fallen in love with it. It pushes me to go beyond my limits of strength. It reminds me that in my weakness He is strong. I find new muscles I didn't know existed and also I realize how the body is such an incredible force of nature. In TRX I have found companionship of friends at the gym, and I look forward to their welcoming words, high fives and silly jokes at 6 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. TRX has taught me I am a fighter. I don't quit, even though at times I desperately have wanted to do so.
This year, fitness has been a challenge for me. While I am passionate about both of these "sports", education at times took priority. Because of that, I lost some of my physical fitness progress. I used to be able to do a 3+ minute plank but have fallen back to under 2 minutes of endurance; I used to run a half marathon without issues (albeit slowly, but nonetheless finishing). But I had to many times choose taking an online exam over going for a run. I had to choose shifting my work schedule to take a class on campus, thus missing months of TRX class. I also have had the overhanging cloud of depression and anxiety that have loomed larger at times this year. To some, those words are excuses. And while I understand that, I also say that it is real. Some days it took all I had to get up and do a workout. I had to have a pep talk with myself that while yes, I lost progress, I was winning because I wasn't letting the negative emotions win me over. I had to fight against those moments often this year, and usually silently.
Anxiety and Depression are silent battles. They are often looked down upon by society, but I like to share about it because I believe that it's important we share, we talk about these issues. It's not a stigma it once was, but for those of us who battle it, we do feel shame over that at times. I have learned to embrace it for what it is, recognize its heightened moments and learn how to fight against it. To do so takes every ounce of energy at times that I have, but I fight it. I fight it by working out. That's one reason I really do enjoy physical fitness. I enjoy the heavy lifting and the pushing limits. Because when I feel knocked down, accomplishing a race or reaching a new moment in TRX remind me I am capable. Admittedly at times this year, that "capable" was simply dragging myself to the gym or convincing myself to lace up my shoes.
This year I ran a few 5Ks and a couple of 10Ks. This was the first year in 10 years to not run a half marathon, my favorite distance. I missed it. I sometimes admit I get jealous of those around me who are participating in those events and accomplishing amazing results, of people who have made friends through the sport and have all their photos posted of their runs. But I have to remind myself each season of life brings different ways of growth, different opportunities and different needs that must be met. I chose work over a long run many days in light of the changes we faced; I chose class on campus over class at the gym; I chose sleep at times over a 5:30 am run. But even in being less active, I was able to learn about myself, just as much, but in different ways, than when I had events every month.
I gained weight. I probably didn't always help my mental health. But I learned through it all that each season brings different lessons of life. Each season holds different priorities and new opportunities. I met new people who changed my perspective, I just didn't meet them out on the race course. I discovered new dreams, just not always through long runs every weekend. I recognized the fighter in me. I got frustrated with myself many times in my running (or lack thereof) and also in losing ground in my strength; however, I felt proud of myself for not quitting in any of it when sometimes all I really wanted to do was shut down.
It's not always about how fast you run or how far you go, it's about the heart within you. It's not always about reaching the goal, it's about what you learn along the way. It's not always about the time on the clock, but it's about having a good time in the process. It's not always about who you run with, but about the people you meet along the way.
I have set out some ambitious goals for my 2019, but with the understanding it's possible they may get interrupted. We never know what the next day is going to bring. Life is a journey. I have struggled through this year in certain aspects, but also learned the most about myself ever and grown leaps and bounds and while my growing waist line threatens to leave me frustrated, I honestly know that with that has come significant personal growth and I would not change it for a second. By far my favorite verse, which applies to fitness in some aspects, but remains strong in my every day way of life for a variety of reasons is:
2 Cor. 12:9-10 "Each time He said to me: "My grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2018 pushed me to new limits. Dare I say: bring it on, 2019!??
I love running because it teaches me I can do things I never thought possible, and it gives me determination to not quit. I love to run because when I run, I am free. My mind opens up in beautiful ways. I clear my head; I pound out frustration in ever step; I fight the anxieties and depression and I have the space to be free of that for 30 minutes; I breathe in fresh air and drink in the nature of the gorgeous sunrises, the fresh falling snow, the shining moon against a star-lit sky, the deer romping in the park and birds singing the spring songs of welcoming new days. I feel and see God around me and I enjoy myself before the world's worries come crashing in through the day.
TRX has become a way of fitness I discovered by accident, but have fallen in love with it. It pushes me to go beyond my limits of strength. It reminds me that in my weakness He is strong. I find new muscles I didn't know existed and also I realize how the body is such an incredible force of nature. In TRX I have found companionship of friends at the gym, and I look forward to their welcoming words, high fives and silly jokes at 6 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays. TRX has taught me I am a fighter. I don't quit, even though at times I desperately have wanted to do so.
This year, fitness has been a challenge for me. While I am passionate about both of these "sports", education at times took priority. Because of that, I lost some of my physical fitness progress. I used to be able to do a 3+ minute plank but have fallen back to under 2 minutes of endurance; I used to run a half marathon without issues (albeit slowly, but nonetheless finishing). But I had to many times choose taking an online exam over going for a run. I had to choose shifting my work schedule to take a class on campus, thus missing months of TRX class. I also have had the overhanging cloud of depression and anxiety that have loomed larger at times this year. To some, those words are excuses. And while I understand that, I also say that it is real. Some days it took all I had to get up and do a workout. I had to have a pep talk with myself that while yes, I lost progress, I was winning because I wasn't letting the negative emotions win me over. I had to fight against those moments often this year, and usually silently.
Anxiety and Depression are silent battles. They are often looked down upon by society, but I like to share about it because I believe that it's important we share, we talk about these issues. It's not a stigma it once was, but for those of us who battle it, we do feel shame over that at times. I have learned to embrace it for what it is, recognize its heightened moments and learn how to fight against it. To do so takes every ounce of energy at times that I have, but I fight it. I fight it by working out. That's one reason I really do enjoy physical fitness. I enjoy the heavy lifting and the pushing limits. Because when I feel knocked down, accomplishing a race or reaching a new moment in TRX remind me I am capable. Admittedly at times this year, that "capable" was simply dragging myself to the gym or convincing myself to lace up my shoes.
This year I ran a few 5Ks and a couple of 10Ks. This was the first year in 10 years to not run a half marathon, my favorite distance. I missed it. I sometimes admit I get jealous of those around me who are participating in those events and accomplishing amazing results, of people who have made friends through the sport and have all their photos posted of their runs. But I have to remind myself each season of life brings different ways of growth, different opportunities and different needs that must be met. I chose work over a long run many days in light of the changes we faced; I chose class on campus over class at the gym; I chose sleep at times over a 5:30 am run. But even in being less active, I was able to learn about myself, just as much, but in different ways, than when I had events every month.
I gained weight. I probably didn't always help my mental health. But I learned through it all that each season brings different lessons of life. Each season holds different priorities and new opportunities. I met new people who changed my perspective, I just didn't meet them out on the race course. I discovered new dreams, just not always through long runs every weekend. I recognized the fighter in me. I got frustrated with myself many times in my running (or lack thereof) and also in losing ground in my strength; however, I felt proud of myself for not quitting in any of it when sometimes all I really wanted to do was shut down.
It's not always about how fast you run or how far you go, it's about the heart within you. It's not always about reaching the goal, it's about what you learn along the way. It's not always about the time on the clock, but it's about having a good time in the process. It's not always about who you run with, but about the people you meet along the way.
I have set out some ambitious goals for my 2019, but with the understanding it's possible they may get interrupted. We never know what the next day is going to bring. Life is a journey. I have struggled through this year in certain aspects, but also learned the most about myself ever and grown leaps and bounds and while my growing waist line threatens to leave me frustrated, I honestly know that with that has come significant personal growth and I would not change it for a second. By far my favorite verse, which applies to fitness in some aspects, but remains strong in my every day way of life for a variety of reasons is:
2 Cor. 12:9-10 "Each time He said to me: "My grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2018 pushed me to new limits. Dare I say: bring it on, 2019!??
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Growth in 2018
"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning." Benjamin Franklin
If I had to sum up this year in one word it would be: Growth.
I have not written in this space for some time now, and as I have been reflecting the last several days, I have wanted to share about my experiences this year. Today, I will sum up some of those into one blog for you. But, because I am quite the wordy person when I process, I will break it down over the next few days into categories.
2018 has been a year of change. Change forces reflection and growth. We can't always see it in the moment, but looking back, we can find it if we take time to reflect.
In my job, I experienced many changes - a new boss, some coworkers leaving, new ones coming on and a promotion for myself as well.
My kids are growing up, with my daughter working now and actively taking horse lessons and going out with friends. (And sometimes driving.) My son joined ROTC at school and is growing in his own self as well. I love that these things are happening. It's not to say that change is bad... it is not. But it does bring growth. Being a mom of teenagers is a challenge. Letting go and allowing the balance of independence mixed with still being a firm parent is not easily done, and I am learning through my own mistakes at times.
My education continues to move forward and that reshapes my thinking at times; it challenges me mentally many days, but it also pushes me to learn my own views more in depth. Through the education, I continue to grow in many ways. I love talking about what I am learning - the challenges of it, the excitement of it and even the moments I do not like ( Biology was such a class for me... thank goodness that is over!) I have felt beat up by the classes at times and have also found great satisfaction in them. The classes I have taken have taught me so much... and also helped me see how much I don't know.
Fitness... well, my education trumped my fitness many days of this year. It remains a priority for me, but often times it had to take the back seat to either sleep or classes because those 2 things were a greater priority. I never abandoned my fitness, I just had to take it down a notch, which was not easy for me and leaves me thirsty with goals to improve in 2019. However, shifting this area of life also taught me many lessons. This is why I will dedicate separate blogs to each of these categories over the next few days.
I began my year by choosing the word "Faith" as my word for the year, having no idea how my faith would shape me. I can't say I abided in it all the time, nor did I let it guide me always. But I do know I held on to it for dear life when the changes felt unbearable or the waves of depression or anxiety threatened to be too much for me. Change brings growth, growth reshapes faith in all new ways. I had zero idea beginning this year what changes were going to be part of my story; looking back over the year, I am thankful for them. They exhausted me at times, but I am a stronger and better person for them. As the song says "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand..."
The "category" of work, well... this area may be one which taught me the hardest and best lessons this year. At the beginning of 2018, I actually spent time working 2 jobs. I worked during the week at the marathon office as normal, and on the weekends, I worked in a home for dementia residents. Those beautiful old people taught me many lessons. Lessons which can't be written down, but are ones to be lived. Those people, who so much of society (and even their own families) disregard, taught me love and laughter.
Along with that job and lessons learned, came the hundreds of lessons I incurred with the changes that took place in my full time job. The changes have had challenges, but through it all I have discovered many new qualities of myself. I look forward to sharing this more.
I traveled to Colombia two times; I had the incredible opportunity to serve as a translator here in the States for a week in October; I ran a few races and saw a few places; I made new friends, which also helped shape growth; I laughed a lot but I probably cried more. I stood up to bullies. I gave up some desires only to watch God give them to me in different ways. This year has been exhausting at times and exhilirating in others.
As I began the word with the year "Faith", I feel I may have done an injustice to its definition. But faith is truly always growing, and that is what this year has been about for me. As I share more in depth, you may understand more. I want to continue to embrace this word every day, to bring more justice to the One in whom I place my faith.
In the beginning of the blog, I used a quote by Benjamin Franklin. "Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievment, and success have no meaning."
Through the growth I experienced this year, I for sure found progress in myself, I feel improvement in my development, and I have seen more successes. None of those would have been possible without the challenges.
2018 was a hard year in many ways, mostly unseen and unknown to most, and yet by far the year in which I have learned to embrace who I am in all new ways and continue to progress and move forward.
If I had to sum up this year in one word it would be: Growth.
I have not written in this space for some time now, and as I have been reflecting the last several days, I have wanted to share about my experiences this year. Today, I will sum up some of those into one blog for you. But, because I am quite the wordy person when I process, I will break it down over the next few days into categories.
2018 has been a year of change. Change forces reflection and growth. We can't always see it in the moment, but looking back, we can find it if we take time to reflect.
In my job, I experienced many changes - a new boss, some coworkers leaving, new ones coming on and a promotion for myself as well.
My kids are growing up, with my daughter working now and actively taking horse lessons and going out with friends. (And sometimes driving.) My son joined ROTC at school and is growing in his own self as well. I love that these things are happening. It's not to say that change is bad... it is not. But it does bring growth. Being a mom of teenagers is a challenge. Letting go and allowing the balance of independence mixed with still being a firm parent is not easily done, and I am learning through my own mistakes at times.
My education continues to move forward and that reshapes my thinking at times; it challenges me mentally many days, but it also pushes me to learn my own views more in depth. Through the education, I continue to grow in many ways. I love talking about what I am learning - the challenges of it, the excitement of it and even the moments I do not like ( Biology was such a class for me... thank goodness that is over!) I have felt beat up by the classes at times and have also found great satisfaction in them. The classes I have taken have taught me so much... and also helped me see how much I don't know.
Fitness... well, my education trumped my fitness many days of this year. It remains a priority for me, but often times it had to take the back seat to either sleep or classes because those 2 things were a greater priority. I never abandoned my fitness, I just had to take it down a notch, which was not easy for me and leaves me thirsty with goals to improve in 2019. However, shifting this area of life also taught me many lessons. This is why I will dedicate separate blogs to each of these categories over the next few days.
I began my year by choosing the word "Faith" as my word for the year, having no idea how my faith would shape me. I can't say I abided in it all the time, nor did I let it guide me always. But I do know I held on to it for dear life when the changes felt unbearable or the waves of depression or anxiety threatened to be too much for me. Change brings growth, growth reshapes faith in all new ways. I had zero idea beginning this year what changes were going to be part of my story; looking back over the year, I am thankful for them. They exhausted me at times, but I am a stronger and better person for them. As the song says "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand..."
The "category" of work, well... this area may be one which taught me the hardest and best lessons this year. At the beginning of 2018, I actually spent time working 2 jobs. I worked during the week at the marathon office as normal, and on the weekends, I worked in a home for dementia residents. Those beautiful old people taught me many lessons. Lessons which can't be written down, but are ones to be lived. Those people, who so much of society (and even their own families) disregard, taught me love and laughter.
Along with that job and lessons learned, came the hundreds of lessons I incurred with the changes that took place in my full time job. The changes have had challenges, but through it all I have discovered many new qualities of myself. I look forward to sharing this more.
I traveled to Colombia two times; I had the incredible opportunity to serve as a translator here in the States for a week in October; I ran a few races and saw a few places; I made new friends, which also helped shape growth; I laughed a lot but I probably cried more. I stood up to bullies. I gave up some desires only to watch God give them to me in different ways. This year has been exhausting at times and exhilirating in others.
As I began the word with the year "Faith", I feel I may have done an injustice to its definition. But faith is truly always growing, and that is what this year has been about for me. As I share more in depth, you may understand more. I want to continue to embrace this word every day, to bring more justice to the One in whom I place my faith.
In the beginning of the blog, I used a quote by Benjamin Franklin. "Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievment, and success have no meaning."
Through the growth I experienced this year, I for sure found progress in myself, I feel improvement in my development, and I have seen more successes. None of those would have been possible without the challenges.
2018 was a hard year in many ways, mostly unseen and unknown to most, and yet by far the year in which I have learned to embrace who I am in all new ways and continue to progress and move forward.
Friday, August 3, 2018
I Dare Myself
"First, Think. Second, Dream. Third, Believe. And Finally, Dare." -Walt Disney
I could drown my brain in quotes and never get tired of them; especially quotes about believing and dreaming. That's because I do that. I am a goal setter, a dreamer and finally, a "darer". There are times my "dare" does not turn out to be at all what I imagined or dreamed. In fact, it many times turns out very differently from what my envisioned goal was. However, along the way, I always learn valuable lessons, which are worth more than the original intention most of the time because those lessons push me to become a better me.
I've taken a long break from 'serious' running. By serious, I mean a dedicated training plan. I haven't lost the passion for the sport, nor have I quit lacing up and going out early in the morning. However, between the demands of my classes this past semester, the changes in my daily life at work, and the other struggles that come with being a wife and a mom, running races or long distances became less of a priority. Recently, I put it back on the goal list because I have missed it.
As I have set the alarm again for early Saturday mornings, I have rediscovered the joy of....
- the swish of a ponytail mixed with the smell of sweat
- the beauty of the pink, purple and orange hues of sunrise
- the feel of sore muscles having pushed up the hills and adding miles
- clearing my head to start my day.
- a concrete exercise goal
- deer playing in the park as the fog rises off the pond
- with more running comes a desire to have cleaner eating
- the feeling of believing in myself that comes with accomplishing the hard goals
The joy of thinking it up, dreaming about it, believing in myself and daring to do it.
Running is not new to me, of course. Training is not unfamiliar. But when it falls by the wayside more or less, I am starting from a place of scratch. I am pretending as though I've not done a race before and starting with the basics.
But I am rediscovering the inner voice that teaches me to believe in myself through being diligent in my morning runs again. Running, for me, isn't about crushing a PR or losing weight. It's not about fame or obtaining an age group award. Running, for me, honest to goodness helps me be the best version of me. It helps me think clearly. Running connects me deeper with my creator, God. Running gives me space in nature that an office desk just can't provide. Running reminds me I am capable of far more than I allow myself to think.
So, do I dare?
I do dare....
I could drown my brain in quotes and never get tired of them; especially quotes about believing and dreaming. That's because I do that. I am a goal setter, a dreamer and finally, a "darer". There are times my "dare" does not turn out to be at all what I imagined or dreamed. In fact, it many times turns out very differently from what my envisioned goal was. However, along the way, I always learn valuable lessons, which are worth more than the original intention most of the time because those lessons push me to become a better me.
I've taken a long break from 'serious' running. By serious, I mean a dedicated training plan. I haven't lost the passion for the sport, nor have I quit lacing up and going out early in the morning. However, between the demands of my classes this past semester, the changes in my daily life at work, and the other struggles that come with being a wife and a mom, running races or long distances became less of a priority. Recently, I put it back on the goal list because I have missed it.
As I have set the alarm again for early Saturday mornings, I have rediscovered the joy of....
- the swish of a ponytail mixed with the smell of sweat
- the beauty of the pink, purple and orange hues of sunrise
- the feel of sore muscles having pushed up the hills and adding miles
- clearing my head to start my day.
- a concrete exercise goal
- deer playing in the park as the fog rises off the pond
- with more running comes a desire to have cleaner eating
- the feeling of believing in myself that comes with accomplishing the hard goals
The joy of thinking it up, dreaming about it, believing in myself and daring to do it.
Running is not new to me, of course. Training is not unfamiliar. But when it falls by the wayside more or less, I am starting from a place of scratch. I am pretending as though I've not done a race before and starting with the basics.
But I am rediscovering the inner voice that teaches me to believe in myself through being diligent in my morning runs again. Running, for me, isn't about crushing a PR or losing weight. It's not about fame or obtaining an age group award. Running, for me, honest to goodness helps me be the best version of me. It helps me think clearly. Running connects me deeper with my creator, God. Running gives me space in nature that an office desk just can't provide. Running reminds me I am capable of far more than I allow myself to think.
So, do I dare?
I do dare....
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