The Trust Fall

When I was growing up, I went to this awesome church camp every summer. One of the fun activities we did there was called a Trust Fall. This was out on the woodsy obstacle course. Generally, we were out there as a cabin group (probably 12-14 girls my age) and a second cabin group. So, about 24 of us, roughly. You may be familiar with what a trust fall is, but in case not, let me explain.
  Each girl took turns climbing up onto this beam-like log, which was a bit of a hoist to get up onto. Once on it, you were asked to turn your back to the group, and as they assembled a line, you were expected to just fall backwards, and they would catch you.
 Sounds easy, right? Think again. These were girls we'd all just met, so it was hard to know, "Will they really catch me?"  The scenarios quickly play through the mind as to what could happen or not happen.
 Many girls got up on it, only to get down out of fear.
 It was scary, I admit. But when the girls' arms caught me, the feeling was exhilarating and (as odd as this sounds) friendships were built stronger.

 Trust. I had to trust they would catch me.
 Trust is a short word, full of more worth than any of us give it credit.
It takes time to build trust.
  It takes vulnerability to build trust.
    It takes letting go of fear and inhibition to give trust away.
If trust is broken, much time and effort go into repairing that damaged bridge.
  And if it is hard to trust people, whom we see every day and interact with all the time, how much harder is it at times to trust God, who we don't really see in a physical sense?

 If you would ask me, "Do you trust God?", I would readily answer you, "Yes, of course!"
But when opportunities are available for me to prove to others and to Him that I fully trust His words, His truth, His promises, I must step back and honestly answer that I struggle with trusting Him sometimes.
 I don't know why. He has proven time and again He is faithful.
  Growing up, I watched Him provide for my family time and again. As an adult, I have seen Him do the same, from a different perspective.
  Life is a faith journey all the time, but we sometimes have stronger opportunities to exercise our trust in God more than others. Right now, I am being challenged in this area.
  I have the exciting and rare opportunity to take a mission trip in February to the country of Colombia. I have been praying about this for about a year. I have always had a heart for ministering to others and a strong tie to the Latin world. While my Spanish may be a bit rusty, I truly enjoy speaking their language. Years ago, I traveled to El Salvador and Honduras for a 6 week time frame. While at that time, I decided that was not my life path, the desire to do such trips has remained in my heart. I am truly excited for this upcoming opportunity to once again travel to a Latin America Country. We will be doing construction and ministering to the adults and children in the small town of Brisas del Mar.


 I am not afraid of traveling overseas or even of going on a trip with no one I know prior to this trip. (well, really know, that is. I have had the chance to meet them at a team meeting.) Truthfully,  I am  worried about raising the money to go.
 I shouldn't be. I know this is a trip God has laid out before me and opened up for me to be a part of. So I know He will provide, yet my heart has the human obstacle of worrying about it the funding.

This  circles back around to trust.  I believe that this trip will be life changing in many aspects, as short term trips such as these often are. I have just begun the process of it, but I can share that already I am realizing that my faith is often times weak. And a piece of this journey is Him strengthening my weaknesses.
 I rely on my own strength or my own "know how".
   I play a lot of "what ifs" .
       I ask God to guide, but then I start trying to form my own path, when I don't think He is doing it quickly enough.
 We all do this to a certain extent, but for me, I am realizing just how often I do this. I say I trust God but then my actions show otherwise.

 I was challenged, along with the process, when my 13 year old daughter was sharing with me about not being able to "feel" God. She asked me "Mom, I know He's there, but I don't feel Him. So sometimes I forget and I get frustrated and I just want to see Him."
  I pondered this before answering... because as I answered, it challenged me. " Honey, we can't always feel Him. Sometimes He is seemingly quiet because He wants us to be quiet and wait on Him. To trust in Him. To ask Him and seek Him and then wait. That's what faith is all about. That's what it means to trust Him."
    Can you say.... convicted??  I was immediately caught in what I was saying to be challenged to live out those words.

 Right now, I am being challenged to trust God. As I have to raise about half of the dollar amount by the end of this month,  I am challenged to trust in God. He will provide. I know He will. But knowing and acting out the knowing are 2 different actions completely. So, I am aware of this on a daily basis.

 I have no doubt God will use this trip in my life in incredible ways. He already is. If you'd asked me a month ago if I trusted God with everything, I would have said, absolutely! But, as I have been challenged in this area, I am realizing how weak my trust is at times.

 However, He is asking me to climb up on that log, just as I did as a little girl, and to fall backwards. Into His arms. His promises. And His truths, that He will provide and that He is there and that He is guiding this path.
   One day at a time. I am excited to see where He will guide. And how He will provide.