Just Run.

"We run to undo the damage we've done to body and spirit. We run to find some part of ourselves yet undiscovered." -John Bingham

     Run. 

My mind tells me to run. To keep running. Running is, in large part, a mental sport. Running is  what I do several mornings a week. Running is a passion of mine. The next few blogs you will find me talking about this because right now running is a large part of my journey in healing. Right now, running is a part of finding some part of myself yet undiscovered. 

 I have a race coming in just 2 weeks. This race is a half marathon. It has been 2 years since I have done this distance competitively. I missed it. 5K's are wonderful and fun; 10K's have some challenge in them; but half marathon is my favorite distance.

Why? Because training for and running a half marathon helps me prove to myself new things. Completing a half marathon always helps me find new traits about myself; traits I had no idea existed. When I run a half marathon, the victory I feel at the end of it is sweeter than any other distance because to me, once not so long ago, running 13.1 miles was impossible. And as I have conquered that beast, I have learned I am capable of far more than I ever would have imagined. There is more in me than I ever realized. I can do and handle more than ever thought possible. I can overcome. But I cannot do that alone. I overcome because of the One who has overcome for me...my Savior, my God.

 This race I have in 2 weeks has been the worst training I have ever done. As I have faced some extreme personal challenges within the last month, I quit training. I nearly gave up running. But I realized that not only did I need to keep going with it because I love it, but I realized that one of the reasons I did it was to "undo damage done to ....my spirit" as is quoted above. Damage that in part, I've created. Damage I didn't know was even there. Damage that has wreaked its havoc on me, but damage that can be fixed. I know it can be fixed because I know my God is capable of doing so. I know I can overcome because He has already overcome for me. The parallel is used often times in the Bible of running a race and not quitting. I'm not quitting in my spiritual journey...God is showing me new things every day; things hard to embrace at times and things difficult to adjust, but things that will have a victorious outcome. I'm not quitting in my running journey because I don't want to, but more so because I need this victory right now. I need to discover something new within myself through this particular race. 
 I may not know for sure what I am discovering until the end of the race; but as the terrible training continues, I am beginning to discover a new determination, a new depth of dependance on God, and new strength I had no idea I could possess, yet strength only offered by walking closely with God. 

  Just run, my mind tells me. I laugh and tell people right now I may die during this half marathon. Well, I won't die, I am determined I will finish. But, it will be a painful race, no doubt. Stay tuned as it unfolds not long from now! I run to finish the race, not to be in first place. And I keep pressing on so that I can say I have fought the fight of faith. I have not always done that well.....but one step at a time (literally) I am striving to do that better.
  

2 Timothy 4:7-8

English Standard Version (ESV)

7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.