It's going to be an all day coffee drinking kind of day. Sure, I drink a fair amount of coffee anyway. But on days like today, when I am as tired as I am, I drink more. I'm not sure it keeps me awake as much as it is a "comfort " food for me....and I'd rather take part in that than in a brownie or a cookie.
This past weekend was really good, but really busy, and I am feeling it today. My alarm went off at 3:30 am to get up and run, but today....I just didn't have it in me. It's rare that I'll say that, and tomorrow I'll likely be back out hitting the pavement again. But sometimes, I just have to listen to my body.
It was Easter weekend of course, and really busy. We hosted at our home, which meant a ton of things to do ( mostly cleaning! ) . I also had a 20 mile run I needed to fit in. Literally needed. Partially because I'd skipped one. Partially because it is my last Saturday before my race to fit it in. And Partially because I just needed it. Unfortunately, I had to squeeze it in as a split 10/10 due to the craziness of my life. I was up at 3:30 both Saturday and Sunday so I could wake up, do my pre-run rituals, and be running by 5 am . I did pretty well just enjoying the weekend....but it's caught up to me now.
My long run running buddy and I groaned as we started out our 10 on Saturday morning. We were both tired. However, by the end of it, for me, it was so uplifting and one of our better runs. Not for time really, but for the companionship and how I left feeling uplifted. The moon was full that night/morning, so it lit our path a little bit. (Emphasis on little!) We heard/saw several animals scurry around on the sides of the path as we approached them , and we laughed each time, hoping it wouldn't be a skunk! As our run turned to sunrise, it was a beautiful picture. A slight fog across the fields, the pinkish orange sunrise on one side of us, roosters in the background, and a full moon, still shining brightly on the other side of us. It was gorgeous. It was a reminder of God, yet again. I love to run partially to see and experience the beauty of God. I made the comment of how "this is when I absolutely am grateful for this time of day run." We got on the subject of songs and how certain songs mean certain things to us. I recalled my favorite hymn. We don't sing a lot of hymns in church anymore....it's just less common. But my favorite always has been "Because He Lives", and it seemed appropriate to recall that especially being Easter weekend. I literally got chills recalling some of th words, as it was a punch in the gut good kind of reminder to me, after facing some literal life struggles
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth living, just because He lives.
I love that song. Old fashioned, yes. But so powerful still. Today it means something different to me than it did 10 years ago. It was crazy that the next day we actually sang that in church. I got chills again when I processed that.
We got up same time Sunday to run again . We were much less talkative on that run. Maybe we were lost in thought. Maybe we were just tired. but sometimes, good friends don't need to talk to understand what's being said. We ran side by side, putting in another 10. No, it wasn't the ideal 20 mile training run, bu we still did it. I have an amazing friend who is so understanding and accommodating to my life for those long runs. I cannot wait to complete the race together!
Easter was nice. It was emotional on some levels. Maybe for years to come, the holidays will be emotional, not having mom. This one struck me strongly mostly because Easter has always been at mom and dad's, and this year, we hosted it. It was weird on some levels. As we stuffed eggs with candy, I recalled so many egg hunts with the kids at mom and dad's. Mom loved those. I recalled memories from growing up ,of easter basket hunts. Our baskets were always simple, but fun. Mom would hide them around the house before we were up, and we would search for them. I still have some of the mini books I got one year in my basket. My kids now own them. Mom was always up and dressed, generally with music on, singing to the hymns in the kitchen that morning, as she prepared lunch to go in the roaster.We used to color eggs and we'd color them with each persons name who would be eating in our home, and that egg was used as their place setting. Easter was mom's favorite holiday. Last year at EAster, I have to admit, I was in a fog. This year , it was fun, yes, but the reality of mom not being there felt stronger ,I think, than it did last year. It was odd having it in my home instead of hers. And it was odd having one less place setting. But how neat to think that she was celebrating His rising from the grave literally with Him. I can only imagine.
Training is getting tougher the closer I get to my race. But it'll be worth it and I cannot wait until race day. It has been quite a journey....I miss having mom here to share in it with me. But somehow I keep going with it. Determination, I suppose. God's strength, too. I am not the greatest runner....and never will be. But for me, it's about the journey more than it is about my time at the finish. It is less than 30 days away. In fact, it's really only about 3 weeks away. Stay tuned for some more interesting stories. For now, I'm off to work, one cup of coffee down....many more to go for the day! But continuing to literally hang onto and embrace things one day at a time.