Being Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

 Today is a day that naturally brings most writers to speaking about things which revolve around gratitude, as it should. Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday. While I truly love Christmas and Easter for the meanings of each of those days,  I really love Thanksgiving the most  because it brings about words of thankfulness... a habit lost in our every day busy lives.
  Most of us are guilty of it. But, I will just try to speak from my own perspective here.

 I truly try to help others find the half full glass side of life.When they are down, I try to find the positives for them. I enjoy encouraging others and striving to see the best. But, when it comes to my own life, I am a deep thinker and evaluater. I feel every emotion to the most intense degree. When I love, I love with everything in me. When I hurt, it affects every part of me. When I am happy, it bubbles over onto others.When I am trying to muddle through a new circumstance, my quiet spirit will let you know I am deep in thought. The point is, for myself,  when it comes to my own life, while I try to help others find gratitude, I don't always practice it best in my own life.

 This week, my friend reminded me of all the many blessings I have, just by listing a very few of them for me, finishing the thought by saying "if you ask me, you have a pretty good life." I thought on it for a moment and realized that, while it's good to be real and talk about life's struggles, the blessings cannot get lost in the midst of those. So, (to piggy back off my one attempted theme of The Little Moments ) I want to make more effort to be grateful.

 Every Day.

Not just on Thanksgiving.

So, today I recommit myself to writing down all the little things that happen each day, so that I can better focus myself on life's blessings, and not life's challenges.

 Today is a reminder of how many wonderful things we do have. But, why not make that an every day habit? I certainly cannot eat every day like I do today, but I can dwell more on my  blessings.

 As I am preparing for my trip to Colombia, there are a hundred blessings folded into that. I am grateful for those who are my prayer warriors, walking the road of the trip with me just as much as if they were on it. I am thankful for those who have donated money to the cause. I am reminded just how many wonderful people do exist in my life and care very much about me. And... as I prepare to go to a tiny village of people who have next to nothing, I am realizing how much I take everything that I do have for granted.

 As I reflect on the last many months, I am thankful for my husband. We have waddled through some muddy days, but all the while, he is by my side. I am thankful for my kids. Teenagers now, they are both teaching me day in and day out lessons of patience and dedicated love. But both are healthy and smart and I am blessed to have them.

 I am grateful for my dad. He is amazing, and every day sets an example for me. He is strong and patient and loving and kind and extremely giving. He loves God with everything in Him and strives to follow Him all the time. He doesn't always understand or relate to my world, but he is always there for me.

 Throughout the last many months, I have made some new friends. Women I never would have imagined being part of my journey a year ago. I am so thankful for them.

 I have some very true friends that have stuck with me through the many years of knowing me.... and I could not continue to navigate the deep waters without the wisdom and support they provide for me, each in their own unique way.

 I am incredibly grateful for God.  Words can't sum it up, quite honestly, but none of the above blessings would exist without His grace and love. And I don't deserve it. But He lovingly extends it to me. Every Day .

 The list could really go on, couldn't it? Today is a day of Thanksgiving. Of family. Of lots of great food. But, a reminder to me that I need to be more grateful every day.

Psalm 106

1 Praise the Lord.[a]

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
    his love endures forever.

The Littlest Sacrifices Matter

And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites. So He said, "Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all, for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had."  Luke 21:1-4

 I am not a Bible scholar, so I hesitate at times to throw my interpretations out there. However, this passage has crossed my path enough times the last few weeks, that I have begun to dwell on it a bit more and ponder its meaning. I believe that it could be interpreted different ways, and maybe even at different times in life, stand out with different significance.

 But, I find it to hold value in 2 different aspects in relation to my life at this time.

 First of all,  as I am on a faith journey right now in my pursuit of going on the mission trip to Colombia,  this story crossed my mind a few times. No gift is too small. Anything that anyone has given towards my trip matters. I have had some say to me "I'm so sorry it's not more..."  And my response is, " Are you kidding me? It means more than anything to me just to have your support, so a financial gift on top of that is God's confirmation  and a huge blessing to me."

  I have watched God provide in amazing ways through this time, as I have vested hours in prayer towards this adventure.  But the gifts people give touch me every time. I think of this story of the widow who, to an unwise eye, may have thought "that's all she is giving??"  But God saw and knew what a sacrifice it was.  God saw her heart.  And it was recorded to teach all of us for years to come. I should never be surprised by God. When we seek Him with our whole heart, He provides. And yet, I am constantly amazed at the sacrifices I see many make, as they contribute towards my trip to Colombia. I want to go to be His hands and feet, to be used by Him. To use my passion for Spanish. To love on others. And, to be transformed myself.  But, I am finding every single person walking this trip with me, be it in prayer or in financial giving, is just as much His hands and feet. Each one of (you)  are like the widow.  Giving selflessly.... for His good. And their sacrifices touch me every time.

 There is a secondary way I have begun to look at this story. (Again, please note, I am no scholar here, so this is my interpretation and how God is working on me using this story, maybe not how any other person who has dedicatedly studied the passage would say it is meant.) 

  The widow has no name. She may not even have known her story would be recorded for everyone to know. If I had to guess, she probably didn't even know anyone was really watching her. She may have been embarrassed by what little she had to offer to put in that money giving, considering the rich who were around her. But she gave it all, and it mattered. 

 As much as the story is about money, I have begun to see it in other ways. I have many times said that what I am doing in life doesn't really matter. That I am just a nobody. That my role is not important. If we are honest, we probably all struggle with that on some level. But what God has begun showing me through this story is that anything we do for His glory and with the right intentions, matters. No action is too small.
  A written card. The hugs given.  The kind words said. Maybe just being there, and not saying anything at all. Doing tasks happily, no matter how small, with no desire for recognition. Praying for someone. Being a true friend. Making a meal. Giving someone a ride.
 The list could go on of  tasks that we often think nothing of, but just like God saw the widow give her all with her money, He sees what we do, too. Nothing goes unnoticed. Nothing has a lack of value.  Every little thing counts.

 So, when I think of this story, I am grateful for those who give sacrificially to my upcoming work in Colombia.  But I also am challenged to remember that what I am doing for His kingdom, even if I think it is nothing, makes a difference. The widow didn't have her name written in the Bible. But God knew who she was.  He knew the sacrifice she made to give.
 And He knows the same for you. and for me. And really, what He knows is what matters.

 Do not discount anything you do... whether it's a financial gift or an act of love. Every action matters.

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40

Race Recap

"To be a champion, I think you have to see the big picture. It's not about winning and losing; it's about every day hard work and about thriving on a challenge. It's about embracing the pain that you'll experience at the end of a race and not being afraid....." - Summer Sanders, former Olympian

 As I shared in my previous blog post, No Holding Back, I had my fall race this weekend. I haven't been so excited for a race in a long time. However, for multiple reasons, I had been anticipating this one for months. I had very little idea of all that I would learn/embrace along the way. But just as this race's title was Monumental Marathon, my experience was monumental. 

Thursday evening, my co worker and I enjoyed exploring some of the sites around the city and exploring the unique restaurants and sculptures downtown. When she and I are together, we enjoy being silly. 

Friday was another day of the expo, doing what I love to do as part of my job, and carb loading for Saturday's race. 

 Then finally the day I had been training so hard for came around. 

While the morning started out chilly, the temperatures were actually perfect for a race. The sun was out, and it was about 41 degrees. It's not fun to wait around at the start line in those temperatures, but once you get going, it's ideal. I was focused and ready to go. My mantra of LET GO was written on my hands and ingrained into my head for running. I pushed my headphones in and geared up to cross the start line. 

 As we started off, there wasn't a cloud in the sky or a breeze in the air. PERFECT! I shed my throw away gloves by mile one and felt great. My pace was pretty on-target for a PR. Of course, it was only mile one! We passed by the Colts stadium and rounded some streets to pass through the heart of the city, by the monument that stands tall in the center of the square. (Sorry, no photos... while I really enjoy the scenery along the way of the race courses I do, I do not stop to take photos while I run!) 

 As the miles faded one by one, I was feeling good, but a little uncertain if I could maintain the good pace the entire way. I did not go out the gate too fast, as some do. I just knew for weeks now, that while I would be close, I would be pushing it the whole race. 

 Somewhere around mile 6, there was a fire in a house along the course, so the firetruck beeped its way through the street, moving all of us to the sidewalk until it passed, and then off to the left of the street where the fire was. At mile 7, the half and the full marathon split apart. That was the first time I slowed down for water. That was where I lost a tad bit of my momentum for a moment.  I found it again, but I know from past experiences that when I lose momentum, it slows down my adrenaline a little.

  But I pressed on. Around mile 9, a crazy driver tried to (ok, not tried to, but DID) pull out onto the course. I know this has happened in plenty of races, but it was a first experience for me.It shot my heart rate up a little because the car did this literally with only 2 runners ahead of me. I have no idea what that driver was thinking. One of the other runners ahead of me stopped and handled the situation, so I kept going. 

  Halfway through mile 9, I was surprised to hear a spectator yell "Go, Rachael!"  One of our lead volunteers/sector bosses was out there to watch his girlfriend run. His cheer gave me a little new push. 

 When I hit mile 10, I knew that if I did not maintain my pace, I was going to lose a new PR. I kept repeating to myself to Let Go . No Doubt. Keep going. Let Go. And while it helped, I will just share with you that when my watch hit 2:27, I was rounding the bend into the final stretch, and I knew I was pumping out all I had left. 

 I finished the race in 2:29:24. 

 I missed my PR by just a minute and a few seconds. 

 I cried a little. 

But I did not cry because I did not make the PR. While it is so true that I wanted that pretty badly, what rang more true in my heart is just how much I have gained along the way the last few months. 

 I gained new confidence.

   I gained new perspective.

     I gained new friendships.

       I gained a stronger faith. 

And all of those "gains" are worth far more than a new PR. I will have plenty more races to run to push for a PR. This race was meant as a learning journey. And that was my reason for shedding a few tears. I felt great. I let go. In running, yes. But I let go in so many other areas that, as I stated previously, this race was was a huge victory for me. I even learned another lesson of letting go during my finish. I had this time goal in my head... and I didn't quite make it. And sometimes I have to let go of not accomplishing a goal. To not beat myself up over it. Let go of that, because in essence, while I didn't meet the goal, it doesn't mean I failed by any means. If I met every goal I ever made, what would I ever learn?? 

   

To many, running a half marathon in 2:29 is super slow. For me, I pushed through some walls. And I improved very much over the last race I did. So if you ask me if I ended happy... the answer is YES. 

    

So, the Air Force Marathon half marathon course still holds my PR for now. Which is perfectly OK with me. The Monumental Marathon, while not my favorite race I have ever ran, holds my best training  journey. 

  Upon my arrival home, the family was happy to have me back and to celebrate my accomplishment. We enjoyed the post-race tradition of a Mexican meal. That started after my very first half marathon, and without the intentions of it becoming so, has become the now-traditional post race occurrence. We decided to try a new place, and if you live in Dayton, or are ever in the area, you have to try Taqueria Mixteca. It's traditional and delicious! Best post-race meal ever! 

 

 Needless to say, I had the best night's sleep I've had in months. And a happy heart. Because letting go does that. 

 It was no PR, but far more was gained..... 

   Who knows what the next leg of training will bring?

No Holding Back....

I'm not holding back any longer. I am going all out and I am letting go. I am weary of the roadblocks I allow to be in my way.

 Over the course of the last 4 months, I have been training for a fall race. One race. One day. Just a couple of hours long. One victory. Hundreds of hours invested in getting to this place.

I have been looking forward to this race for months. I have not written much about the training because 1. I am no expert, so who am I to really say how to train or even talk about my methods? 2. Many people don't really care to hear all about the runs (but I'm beginning to be over that and just write freely about it because, after all, this is my blog and it doesn't have to be read.) 3. (and mostly for this reason I haven't shared much) This training journey has been a very private one.

 It's been private not because I have been running alone (although there is that, for sure). But it's been private because this has been very much of a learning journey for me through this training.  And sometimes, there just aren't adequate words to express what the heart, mind, body, and soul are learning. As they connect to each other through a run, my running and my training become as much of a spiritual experience as it is a physical benefit to my body. To express those moments out loud can present a challenge. Some people think that's crazy.

 So I haven't talked about it.

I don't think that just because it's race week that I am done learning the lessons I have accumulated over the last few months. But I don't want to hold back any more. I want to share what I am learning. About myself. About God. About this journey we call life.
 And I don't want to hold back in my running any longer either. I want to push the limits. I want to go faster than I ever have. I want to let God carry me through the walls I constantly find in my path. The mental walls. Because the mental walls present more of a challenge than the physical ones. The "I can't " statements. The settling for good enough. This training journey has brought me to a new goal with my fall race.

 It scares me a little because I don't like failing. And a part of me feels like if I don't meet my time goal for the race then I will be failing. But, actually, this race is probably one of my greatest victories, no matter what my time outcome is; the finish time will just become a bonus. So, even if I don't meet my time standard I am setting up for myself, I haven't failed. Because along the last 4 months, I have gained some amazing new perspectives.
 Just like pushing the limits physically and the lungs hurt, sometimes these perspectives have pushed my emotional limits and my heart hurts.
 But not a hurt that is lasting. It's temporary. Because as I have recognized new things about myself, about others around me, and about how much God loves me through every aspect of my being, the hurt fades and victory replaces the pain.

 This training journey has come to mean so much more to me than just running a race. It's become one about embracing confidence. Letting go of old insecurities. It's become a time in life where I have said yes to new experiences (Colombia), said no to hindrances that can stand in the way (sinful habits). And it has become a time of no longer  holding back. I have been learning to really let go.
 Let go of words. Let go of habits. Let go of people. Let go of expectations.
  Which leaves me....
  Free to run better. Be stronger. Love deeper. Work harder. Trust God more.

 This leg of training has been amazing. Physically, yes. I have begun to push past a wall I never thought could be knocked down. But emotionally and spiritually even more so. Because through these many weeks, I have been learning to let go.
  So as I go into my race on Saturday, my mantra is... LET GO. and in essence, Let God.
Simple words. But full of depth for me. with every step, I am learning to let go. Figuratively and metaphorically.
  In my running, and in my life.
   Do both hurt? Sometimes, yes. But is the victory worth it? Absolutely.

 So, I can't wait to see what will happen in the race Saturday. I am going for a best time. But, as I said, I have already gained a victory through this event.

   I close by sharing this: During the beginning of my training, I read Unbroken, the story of Louis Zamperini. What an incredible story. What an incredible life that man lived. But his brother said to him " A moment of pain is worth a lifetime of glory."  That has stuck with me. But even more so, Louis said to himself upon recalling his brother say that as he entered his Olympic experience, "Let Go" . And he opened up and went for it.

 No holding Back. Let Go.
 One day at a time.

What I learned in October

The year is quickly slipping by, and each time I sit down to write my "what I learned this month" post, I feel like each month has gone quicker. Is that a sign of getting old?!?  

 October is almost gone, but this month has been full ! Who am I kidding when I say life will slow down?!? Not a chance. At least, maybe not for me. I guess I am learning I don't slow down too well....

 Here's what I learned in October.

1. Detroit, Michigan is not as bad of a place as what I have always heard.

    - I traveled to Detroit for work this month, and while I may not have been in the worst parts of the city, I found it to be beautiful. We managed to find time to walk the riverwalk area (Who knew that existed there??), walk through the GM building, take the people mover around the area, and eat in Greek Town. I personally thought the city was pretty. I can't say I would want to live there, but it was fun to see. PLUS... I have lived in OH nearly my whole life and never have been to Michigan, so it was a good new experience. 

Just a cool looking arch sculpture, which my coworker referred to as Star Gate? Must be something Star Trek I didn't fully understand but i just went with it. 

Above : The river walk, with Canada behind me
Left: A beautiful mural on the wall in the people mover area.... this picture does not do the mural justice.

Greek Town at Night. 

2. Detroit, Michigan happened to be a huge city for freedom of slaves.

  - While I knew much about the underground railroad, I never realized (or thought about) that Detroit was so close to Canada, which was a country that experienced emancipation of slaves far before America, and thus, served as a large hub for freedom of slaves/undergroud railroad. I took in some history while being in that city for 2 days. 

This wall/statue had a whole lot of history on it, where I learned much about Detroit's role in freeing slaves.

3. I still love to play in the leaves. 

   - While my kids have grown out of this (for now) I still love to rake, scoop and throw leaves around. Something about it is refreshing and freeing. Thank goodness Alexis enjoyed this activity with me as well. It feels so good to laugh.... over the simply joys of being outdoors. One is never too old to do fall activities. 

I don't even care how cheesy this photo is. I was having fun! 

4. I am sometimes afraid to write. 

  - This month, I did a lot of personal journaling. And while that isn't a bad thing to do, I realize that some of what I want to write is scary to put out there. Scary because it's exposing. Scary because as I write the thoughts I realize the reality of the process inside me. Scary because I do worry what others will say. Scary because once I put it out there, I have a new sense of obligation not only to embrace what I am sharing, but to live it out on a daily basis. And some of what I have been learning in my own life lately, while beautiful and transforming, is frightening. But... you may begin to see some of these thoughts formulating more over posts in the near future.

5. God always provides.

  - It's a mystery to me why I ever doubt Him. He provided what I needed to raise for my mission trip up to this point. I still have about a thousand to go, but I am confident He is going to continue to show Himself in new ways and provide for me to experience this awesome adventure. 

6. Blackberry Pie is delicious

   - Upon the request of my friend, I made blackberry pie this month. It came out wonderful! I'd never made it before, so I was uncertain about it, but I was more than satisfied. I really am enjoying being challenged in new areas of baking, and expressing that creative side of me. 

7. Let Go is my new mantra.... 

   I will wait to further elaborate on this in upcoming blogs. But October taught me about letting go, in just about every area of my life. 

   As October is whisked away, the year is rapidly coming to a close.... But the lessons keep on coming :) One day at a time! 

The Journey to Colombia

I tend to write about the big events going on in my life,  or what God is teaching me, and often times those 2 things coincide.
 The journey I am traveling which will lead me to my trip to Colombia in February is  large piece of my story right now. I can't promise that I will have a post about it each week, but this trip is far more than just one week in the month of February. And I want to share with you why.
 I have been asked many times "Why Colombia?"
So I want to share with you how this began.

 A few years ago one of my closest friends, Kristen Prince, decided to attend this mission trip to Colombia. For her, she was stepping way out of her comfort zone. I was ecstatic to watch her take that step forward. Kristen mentioned it to me that they could always use Spanish speaking team members, but at that time in my life, I wasn't ready. Not because I didn't have a heart to do such trips, but more so because I was buried deep in a hole of grief after losing my mom to cancer and trying to pick up some pieces that had quietly and privately fallen apart. So I declined.

 Kristen's experience was so amazing on her trip to Colombia, she proceeded to go again. Her husband joined her. I was asked again, but still not in the right place.

 The third year Kristen went, my heart was drawn more towards what she was doing, but it didn't work well with my career at that time. So I once again declined.

 But you see, God was working on me each and every year. The more stories I heard about what Kristen's team was doing there, the more my interest was growing. The more pictures I saw, the more my heart was getting drawn towards the country of Colombia. Kristen moved away, but we have stayed quite close. After she went on the trip last February, I couldn't get the idea out of my head.

 I have always had a heart to do work overseas. I once thought it was my calling in life. But as God redirected, that seed of desire to make a difference and use my Spanish speaking skills to make a difference for His kingdom has always held a quiet backseat. And over the course of the last 3 years, as Kristen endeavored into some unknown adventures, God was working on me, preparing me to take that same trip. When she returned from her trip in 2015, I began praying. It would begin with my family being on board.
 The next step would be taking the time off from work.
   The next step would be my church's help/involvement, since I am attending with a group new to them.
    And then the next, and one of the largest steps, would be raising enough money to go. But I knew that if God paved the way and cleared all the previous paths, that the money would come. He would see my way into this trip.
 And here I am.
 Ironically enough, Kristen is not attending this year, but her support is tremendous.

And that is why I chose Colombia. Or maybe Colombia has chosen me. God has been preparing me for this for many years, only that just recently dawned on me. Hence I share that this journey to Colombia is so much more than just one week in February. Little did I know this began years ago.
 And if this began that long ago, I cannot wait to see what will unfold in the weeks to come.
Already, I have watched God provide in amazing ways funding needed by the end of October. And as I continue to pray through and grow in my faith for what still needs to come in, He is doing a work in me that constantly catches me off guard and amazes me. And those of you praying with and for me, or those of you who have graciously given or even those of you who are simply a part of listening to me talk about this endlessly right now.. you are just as much part of the journey with me.

 And you never know what might be transpiring in your life now that seems meaningless but will one day become a story like mine.

 I cannot wait to see what will continue to unfold. One day at a time in my journey to Colombia.

The Little Moments

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."  Melody Beattie


This week had some amazing highs and the reality of a few life "lows" as well. But I am striving to every day focus on the positive!  When I am grateful, the little moments are highlighted in my day, not the negative ones.
 I had forgotten how much I enjoyed recalling these each week, to help refocus my heart and soul onto the beautiful occurrences each week.

  1. Brilliant fall colors at the height of the season, along with a few rarer warm days this week.
2. I have reached my half-way amount of money needed raised for my Colombia trip!!! Only God could have done this and it has been amazing to watch it unfold. I can't wait to see what more He will do!
   3. My passport came in this week :) One more step closer to my trip as well!
4. Kohls cash and coupons! Between those 2 things, I got a new purse I needed (because the old one was falling apart, and yes, ladies, believe it or not, I only own one purse at a time!).  I saved 80% and was able to get a purse I actually like for incredibly cheap!
    5. Blackberry Pie. I baked a new kind of dessert this week. I really enjoy trying my hand at new desserts....and at the request of one person, I made this pie and it came out delicious! I love when that happens!
        6. After a night of only 2 hours of sleep and total exhaustion, I set out on a 4 mile run (kind of because I had to for training) But this run ended up being the most liberating run I've had in a while and I kicked an awesome pace. I ended feeling amazing.
  7.  A friendly letter in the mail :) Not many write physical letters anymore, so when I get one in the mail,  I read it over and over and it makes my week!
       8. Shutterfly. I know it's been around forever, but I am new to it, and I really like it!
9. Watching cheesy movies with my kids. I'll never tire of that.
     10. Getting invited to and attending a charity luncheon in the community.  I really enjoy meeting new people and learning about great causes. Community involvement is important to me, even if I don't have an abundance of time to offer.