Journey of Colombia Post Trip #3- Giving up Luxuries

One of the difficult things when coming back from an experience such as I had is that people cannot fully grasp why I would give up a week's vacation time and spend nearly $2,000 to go do hard work in the sun, share a room with 6 women, and give up the luxuries we experience every day.
    When going to a foreign country, you never know fully what to expect. I had seen photos of those who had gone before, I had heard stories of those who had already experienced Brisas del Mar, and I had read facts about the small village.
  But none of those things did the experience justice. I was asked multiple times on the trip if my time there was living up to the expectations I went in with. My answer was that every single experience I had, far surpassed any idea my mind even began to form beforehand.

 I chose to go; I chose to give up the luxuries of life for a week. I was told to be prepared for cold showers and little water. Beware of the fact that you don't flush a toilet unless necessary (if you know what I mean). Be ready for tummy problems because food is different and the body might react on the negative side of life to the differences. Be ready to be exhausted.

 What those statements didn't adequately convey to me beforehand, I want to try to capture for you now.
  The water is scarce there- it's a precious commodity. What we take for granted, they are incredibly grateful for. And I learned to find gratitude for those same things. When it came to showers, I confess to you that I am a typical American- I like my showers very hot and I like the pressure of the water to be hard. However, I want to share with you that to me, a shower had never felt so good as it did there in Brisas. I was caked in dirt and sweat after a hard day of working in the sun digging holes, and so a quick run of water over my skin (then turn off water) lather up my body in soap and try to scrub a bit of the grit off my scalp (then turn water back on and rinse off) felt absolutely amazing. I was grateful to have water. Period. I didn't miss the hot. I didn't miss the pressure. I was thankful for anything at all. And upon my return home, I think twice when taking a forever long shower. I don't take the heat or the pressure for granted any longer. And I hope that sticks.

Women in the village carrying their water

  I became very thankful for clean drinking water at home. While they were so good and gracious to provide clean bottled water for us, the water they drink looks yellow to us. It's not clean. They are accustomed to it, but we'd never survive with it. I know I take water for granted each day. They have to go a distance to get their water. I live with it at my finger tips every day. Every where I go. I am so lucky.

The water ran dry at one point during the week, and this is how they had to bring it back in. Using a tractor, they filled these giant containers of their water (because they have to go a distance to get it) and then run a pipe out of those down into the area that stores their water. Easily Attained? No... it was quite a production. 

  And lastly along the lines of water, because it is such a precious commodity, not easily attained, you don't flush the toilets unless you have to.... and without my being descriptive here, hopefully you can follow that statement. It isn't a gross as it would sound... but maybe that's because I learned how to live with it. The toilet paper goes in the trash rather than down the toilet. To them, it's a way of life. To us, it's an adjustment to remember not to flush or even not to put the toilet paper in the commode. To many in my life, their nose wrinkled upon hearing that fact of my travel. To me, I understood it. Water is not so easily attained in Brisas, therefore, it is savored until needed to be flushed away.

Doing Laundry

Carrying Laundry Home

 And along those lines, since we are on the topic, the septic system there is another foreign concept to us. As part of our construction, that is one of the things we did. We "laid in" the septic system for the church being built. It's far different there than it is to us here. Essentially, it's a giant oversized black plasticish container with a pipe that sticks out of it. As we laid that in for the new building, I just kept thinking "This is crazy." Not crazy bad; Just crazy different from how we live. Normal to them. Eye opening to me.

This is the septic system we put in

Laying the septic system

Complete! 

  I left behind all my electronics for the most part (thank goodness for headphones I had to use to drown out some of the noise around me at night.. I am unfortunately a terribly light sleeper!) I listen to people around me every day complain because the internet is slow or their phone isn't working right. I would like to say that it was SO good for me to be away from those devices for a little bit. It was freeing. Admittedly, I haven't stuck to that so well upon my return home, but I will tell you that there I found beauty in not having those so readily available. I connected more intimately with people because I didn't have a phone or a text or an email constantly distracting me from being in the moment. I haven't figured out how to do that better yet upon my return, but it's one I still am working to incorporate as a lesson learned. It wasn't going without; It was learning to truly live in the moment again- something we so easily miss here with all of our distractions.
  I left my bed.  Many of the people there don't really have a bed. Also, as we were there, I shared a bed with my teammate, Paula Lou, and I shared a room with 5 other women. Was it kinda crazy at times? Yes. They may not appreciate this (sorry team...) but most of the nights held a symphony of snoring. I am a light sleeper, so this was a "rough" part of the trip for me. But, if that's the roughest thing I had to experience... come on... that's not so bad. In fact, I came to laugh about it and appreciate that experience. Was it my soft comfy bed next to my husband? No. But I learned from that. And I bonded with those women unlike any women I have hung out with in the last many years. We came from all different backgrounds but we left with common bonds none of us will ever forget. And after learning what the people in the village don't have and after sharing a room with all those women, I have a great appreciation for my king sized bed with a nice cozy comforter....

 The list goes on. We have food readily available- They struggle to have enough to feed their families. The village has a food program for the school age children, and they don't always have enough funding to keep it running strongly. I have never had to worry about my children going without food.
 They have dirt roads, bumpy and dusty. We have paved roads, and complain at times about potholes....

The roads of Brisas del Mar

 It's all about perspective. Giving up my luxuries for one week became a privilege. I didn't really even think about it, to be honest. Becoming immersed in their culture didn't feel like a foreign world. Somehow, it became home very quickly. That goes back to the piece of love I referred to in my first blog, post trip. None of those things mattered because the people welcomed us with loving arms and surrounded us with their grace and their beauty. They made us feel at home.... and those little every day luxuries we have here faded into the background. The trick is applying those lessons learned now that we are back home.
 Continuing to have an appreciation for water, for food, for a toilet that flushes, for a warm bed, paved roads and cars to get us places, technology to connect (and to blog!) .... those are some of the lessons I want to hang onto and somehow help my family embrace, who were unable to experience this with me. I want to appreciate all of these little pieces.... one day at a time, never forgetting what I learned.

 Stay tuned for Post #4 soon.... where I will share about the clinic and about the medical supplies.

Journey of Colombia-Post Trip #2- Flexibility is Key

Going into the trip, the one statement which was reiterated time and again in the meetings was that flexibility is key. I concur with this statement, but I had no idea just how much flexibility would come into play on our trip.

 The day of traveling to Colombia went well- we really did not have too many hang-ups in the route of planes and layovers or connections. And our first night after landing in Cartegena went quite smoothly.
 But once we arrived in our home for the week- Brisas del Mar- the reality of flexibility began.
When we first arrived, within the hour we learned there had been a death in the community, which meant a funeral was now on the agenda, which meant anything else we had planned needed to be shifted. Pastor Ed has traveled to Brisas on other teams and has performed funerals on other occasions (unfortunately). But little did we know we'd walk right into that scenario.
 Where to us in the USA, it would seem odd to include strangers in on a funeral, to them there wasn't even a hesitation to ask Pastor Ed to be part of it. And to Pastor Ed, there wasn't a hesitation to say yes to offering some scripture and words of love and condolences to the family. And so the schedule shifted. A handful of us joined in on attending the funeral, which also would seem a weird thing to do in the USA, but to us, we were there to offer love, and while every person needs love, those experiencing grief need it even more so. We may not have known the young man (28 years old, leaving behind a wife and a daughter, son of the captain of the village) but we could offer hugs and love. And so our schedule shifted.
 (Side note: in the experience, I learned that there the funeral/grieving process goes on for days, and literally the whole community is involved. This experience was not one that I would wish anyone to have, but it was a hefty start to the learning process of all God was preparing to teach me.) 

And just as the day 1 schedule shifted, so did day 2. We moved day 2 events to be on day 3 instead, which meant day 3 shifted..... you get the point here.  The team did an amazing job just going with the flow. I must tell you (and if you have known me a long time, you will know this) that I am a planner. It's built in me. I plan out my days, what needs done, etc. And quite literally, my job focuses around planning. But somehow, when I was in Colombia, it didn't even phase me.
 I went to Colombia without a watch because I just wanted to be in the moment. On the bus ride to Brisas, I even had a long conversation with my teammate about not keeping track of time. Well, I was provided many opportunities to do this. In fact, when people would say "what's going on tomorrow?" I had no idea. I simply went with the flow. And I loved it. I want to carry that back with me a little bit, allow myself to be a bit less rigid in what is going on when. Don't get me wrong, having schedule and structure is good. But there is something so free about just going with the flow and living life.
 
More examples of flexibility:
 For the first youth event, we planned for roughly 45-50 youth. There were 90 that showed up! We had to get flexible really quickly. We didn't have enough craft for that many.... nor the space for all them to do the craft. What a great problem to have! It was awesome.  James, Paula and Paola and I worked together on a solution and executed it, while the other half of the team entertained the younger ones. Everyone flexed pretty quickly.

One day the schedule changed so much that we had back to back events, packing in every single age group. Dinner was served that night at 9 pm because we were busy up till then!

Along with flexibility was the fact that we all had to step out of our comfort zones at some point in order to fill gaps. James was asked to pray countless times in front of the groups (I had no idea until about 3 times into it that that was out of his comfort zone.)
  I did some translating in front of the adult group, impromptu. While Paola was there, her voice was exhausted, so I was called upon to give her a little break. This made me very scared. I loved speaking with them, but I did not love being the center of attention or in the middle of the group- and for whatever reason, with the adults it intimidated me a little more. If it was one on one, no problem. In the group, a bit more dramatic for me .
 Eric also prayed out loud in front of others, breaking out of his normal zone.
 Angie and Barb picked up shovels and helped with moving dirt.
  Gil, completely in his zone with construction knowledge, had to push a little outside of his zone to adjust to the Colombian ways of construction (to be fair, their ways are quite different from ours... which will be a whole different blog).
  Paula Lou battles with heat, but she came on the trip knowing how hot it would be, and she did amazing.
 
 The list goes on. Each person had ways they had to step out of their normal zone. Flexibility was like our middle name. You wouldn't have even known these people were stepping outside of their zones because they were so very willing. They taught me a lot. As I said, I tend to be one to get a little bent out of shape here at home when things don't go according to plan. This time away of having to be flexible, and it really being OK, taught me how to do it better.

 Sometimes what job we were doing shifted, or when we would sit and put together the school bags changed. Pretty much, while we accomplished all of what was on our original schedule, none of it happened in quite the plan in which it was fashioned. And that was OK. Flexibility was key.

 As Paola would say to us - "You're on Colombian time this week...."

I was told going into the trip that Colombians have no watches but all the time in the world. And I found that to be true.
 I don't have pictures that completely capture flexibility, so here are just a few pictures in general.

Michael, Pastor Luis and some village children

The craft the youth did

Me teaching the 90 youth that showed up

VBS with the children

Bus Ride-Paola, Paula, Eric and James

Eric hanging with his buddy Sebastian

Paola, Paula and myself 

 (Stay tuned for the next post of stories about the comforts we left behind in the US and how that looked for us in Brisas. )

Journey of Colombia -Post Trip #1

As I sit in the comforts of my living room this afternoon, taking a few hours to recoup from a beautiful trip, my heart and thoughts are drawn to the moments from the last 10 days,where comforts of our every day life were not so easily- or honestly at all- available.And really, I didn't even miss those "comforts."
 I am listening to the Colombian music to which I was introduced, and trying to find the right words to capture the emotions and thoughts which now are engrained in my head and heart.

 The Journey of Colombia, as the posts will now be titled, will unfold over the next few weeks. Quite simply, I know that words and pictures are not going to do justice for the experience, but I want so much to share with you all what I have learned.

It is a bit strange to come back to a world where everyone's life has gone on in the same fashion, and I come home with a completely new perspective. When others haven't shared in that, explaining it is difficult. My hope is that my new perspectives, which have in fact changed me for the better, will bleed out through my words, my actions and my love and they can then have a little piece of my newfound perspective.

So, as I share parts of my journey to Colombia over the next few weeks, I will have to try to separate it into topics, as that is the best way I can figure to break it down in the simplest of ways. There were new foods experienced, the heartbeat for speaking the Spanish language reignited, exhausting construction work being accomplished in unique ways, muscles strained, sweat dripped, laughter had, tears shared, love expressed in levels unexplainable, comfort zones broken, service as Jesus described shown in ways I've never known, and bonds of friendship made. You can see where it's going to take some time to recapture this for you. But, I am going to try.

Today, rather than touching on one specific topic, I want to just share a brief overview. I went into this experience not knowing anyone on my team, and have left the trip with a few of them becoming some of the closest friends I have ever had. Yes, in part that comes with experiencing something so unique together. But more so, it comes from the bond of love and servanthood and vulnerability- qualities so rarely found in the every day normalcy of our competitive world. When people would ask me if I was worried because I didn't know anyone on my team, I was not; I had no idea though how much I would bond with them. I never felt not good enough or bottom of the barrel as is my experience in the normal routine of life- we were all there to accomplish the same task, we were all there serving a purpose, and I felt embraced.

Last day together traveling home - me, James, Eric, and Paula LouThe whole team, including Bishop and the pastoral staff

 While my skin was so white you could probably see me shining, and the kids loved when I compared my skin to their blanco (white) beads on the craft they made with us, I felt part of their culture and their home from the get-go. I never felt out of place. I worried a little beforehand about recalling all my Spanish, but I LOVED being able to speak with them in conversations. They taught me words I didn't know, and I would swap English words with them. I used extra-long sentences a lot, but they understood me in the end. I had (almost) forgotten my passion for their culture. Rediscovering this was wonderful.

 Flexibility was the key our leaders emphasized to us, and there were countless times we had to exercise this. In fact, to be quite honest, I gave up trying to figure out what was happening the next day (which is so contrary to the planner in me!) and just enjoyed and went with whatever was going on. We had to change things nearly every day because of one reason or another (more details to come...) Our team did a great job of staying flexible. I have participated in many team activities through the years and never have I felt the cohesiveness I have with this group. Everyone helped everyone, stepped in when necessary and stepped back when needed. Everyone brought something unique to the group and it was wonderful to see each person's individuality unfold.

Paola, our translator and in-country expert, was awesome. Fun, funny, flexible, strong, independent, confident, loving, and beautiful. She made the experience all the more special. You'll find her in many of my stories and pictures. She did an amazing job executing details for us and while the translating I did was fun and I enjoyed it, it wore me out at times (mostly just the thinking at times of how to say some things...) and I know it exhausted her. But she was a champion.

Paola on the beach

Me and Paola

Paula, me, Paola

 If I had to pick one word to sum up the overview, it would be LOVE. I have never seen such love given and expressed. I have never felt so much love. They have nothing, but they really have everything because they know love. And you will hear and see that in the blogs to come.

You can see where this overview is becoming a book. There are people's stories I want to share, lessons learned, and experiences had unlike any I have ever known. So, more to come, but I will close it up with some pictures. Each person who was part of this journey- Gil, Ed, Michael, Keith, Paula, Paola, Paula Lou, Angie, Barb, Eric, James, Yoleda and Tia and all the people of Brisas will be found captured in the days to come.

Day 1 of our trip, much of the youth group pictured here to welcome us into Brisas del Mar

Journey to Colombia

 Today I don't want to write a formal post. While maybe (or maybe not) there will be some insights to life included here, more so today I am writing just like I'd be writing you a letter.So please forgive the informality, but I  hope you can feel the excitement I am experiencing jumping off this page into your day for a brief moment.

You guys.... I leave in 3 days for Colombia. 3 days!!!!

The trip itself is finally becoming real.  I have been talking about this for months, and it's finally here! I could jump out of my skin due to pure anticipation . My poor teammates might be ready to say goodbye to me before we even begin.
 We meet up at the church at 3:50 am on Tuesday. While they might be inwardly groaning at that early hour, I will be the one who is chatting endlessly most likely. The early hours do not bother me, and the excitement has me even more awake. So teammates, if you are reading this... I apologize now :) You haven't seen this side of me, but beware.

 I was asked earlier this week by a co-worker if I was ready to speak the language. I would say that the fact I have been dreaming in Spanish lately is a good indication that it is once again becoming engrained in my mind. When asked if I am nervous about this trip, the answer is still no. However, if anything makes me nervous, it's that I may completely blunder a phrase or two. But hey, you can't learn if you don't make mistakes. (Want to know how I learned how to say the word "hole" in Spanish? On the only other mission trip I have taken, I was speaking and accidentally said I was from a hole! Yes, I did. And I will never forget that word or experience!)  I am sure there will be a few moments like that. But you know what? I am so excited to be immersed in the speaking of it once again. I'm as passionate about speaking Spanish as I am about running. (I actually considered pursuing Spanish as a degree, but life's circumstances trumped that idea.)

 It has been 15 years since I last traveled abroad, and traveling as an 18 year old is SO different from now traveling as a 33 year old. From the raising of funds, to getting off work, to trying to organize my family's life while I am away... the details are so much more intricate. But each one seems to be falling into place. I am going to miss my family... this is the first experience to really be apart from them for a length of time. But, I think that is going to add to the beauty of the trip. We will all appreciate one another more when I return (I hope!)  I have packed and repacked my bag, making sure I have everything. I am a master packer.... my mom taught me well. I have fit crazy amounts of things into my suitcase, and I am excited to leave much of it behind for them when we leave.

 Another huge difference in traveling abroad at 18 v. 33 is the fact that at 18, I had not experienced life. I knew nothing. And while that experience at that time was beautiful and shaping, I know that this experience will be life-changing. It already has been, but I know that the experience thus far has just scratched the surface. Getting there is going to be eye-opening. At 33, it's easy to get comfortable with my every day clean, hot water, my readily available Wal-Mart and Kroger, the internet at my fingertips, and instant communication as part of my daily routine. To separate from those things for a few days is going to offer a fresh perspective. Likely challenging at first, but one which I am ready to do. I am ready to be immersed in a new culture and regain the perspective of what matters every day.

 I have heard this comparison made when speaking of the Colombians: We (the Americans) wear a watch but have no time. The Colombians don't wear watches but have all the time in the world. I have decided not to wear my watch on this trip. I will feel a bit naked without it most likely, but I want to not worry what hour of the day it is. I just want to be in the moment. I want to fully experience this trip, the people, the team, the village.

Lastly, at 18, while I understood what God had done for me on the cross and I wanted to share that with others, I can honestly say that now, at 33, I truly grasp what grace means. I felt unworthy to be part of this trip, but God tells me differently. And understanding His grace on a whole deeper level means being able to show and share it on a different level as well.

 In case it wasn't evident, I am so very excited to meet my Colombian friends in just a few days. And soon enough, I will be sharing with you about the experience.  

Journey to Colombia

In just 2 short weeks, I will be in the beautiful Colombia.
  I have been planning and praying for this trip for months.
I am ready.

 People keep asking me if I am nervous about going. I don't even have to hesitate about it- No, I really am not. I know that this trip, in this timing, has been part of my planned path before I even knew about it. So, no, I am not nervous.

As I prepare to go, I want to share a few pieces that have occurred on this journey for me over the last couple of months. These are reasons I am not nervous; reasons why I know this is part of my path for this time in life.

 First of all, all my funding came in. If you remember a few months ago, I shared here about how Colombia came to be for me, but how raising funds was part of my concern. Why I ever doubt the hand of God will always amaze me. I hope one day I get beyond those worries. He always provides. He has made it clear that this is meant to be for me. Let me share with you the final piece of my funding. It was late December, and I needed another $300. I prayed over it (as I had been doing all along) and had watched God provide for months, so I knew He would, I just wasn't sure how. The deadline for my final amount was approaching. Wouldn't you know, someone gave that exact amount, to the dollar, for my trip?? While I should not have been surprised, I was a little. I wasn't expecting that.
  He says in Matthew, "ask and you shall receive..." Of course there is more context to that verse, but I prayed diligently over this and He showed up in an amazing way. That experience alone has been one that has grown my faith to new levels.
    And any time I felt discouraged over the changes in friendships I have experienced the last many months, I have been reminded by people's generous giving to my trip, that I am loved. And even those who did not or could not give but have asked "how can we pray for you?" .... those words (and actions, both) have spoken volumes to my heart.

 A second way I have seen God's hand in this is an awesome story I want to share. When we go over there, there is a clinic that was built by this same mission group with whom I am traveling. The clinic serves countless patients in the area. So, we are taking medical supplies that they cannot attain so readily over there. I began asking around for donations to this, but in the beginning, without response. However, the coolest event transpired out of this. I made a call to  #KetteringHealthMissions  and their response blew me out of the water. They have an entire warehouse dedicated to such events as our mission group. They get supplies donated or have an overage at the hospitals.... and they store all of these items in their warehouse. When people such as myself reach out to them, guess what?? They have an entire place filled with items to choose from which we could take over there! I was able to go in and fill 5 suitcases worth of items to take to Colombia. I felt like a kid in a candy shop. I didn't necessarily know what every item was that I was putting away to take, but I felt excited over this. And I cannot wait to share this blessing with the Colombians! It's not about me... and while I give a great big THANK YOU to #KetteringHealthMissions, God is so good in having opened this door for our team.

 So, if you ask me if I'm nervous about going... I will tell you no. Because every step of the way I have seen God's hand in this journey. I know that leaving my family for 9 days will be a new undertaking, so that doesn't make me nervous, but it sits in the back of my mind.
  I'm not nervous about speaking the language again.... I am excited to do so! I am sure I will make mistakes or have to Say, "Despacio por favor" (slow down, please) But I am sure that it will come back to me in a second nature kind of way. In case you didn't know, I am a bit passionate about the Latin culture and their language. :)

 This trip has already become a transforming experience, and I simply cannot wait to see what more will transpire in my heart and life through this. There won't be the normal every day amenities over there such as we have here, but I am ready to gain that fresh perspective.
  My journey to Colombia has been in the making now since my friend KP first went years ago. But, I am confident it's going to be a life changing event.  I can't wait to share it with you.
   I close with this photo of the children in Brisas del Mar, where we are going, which I grabbed off the mission group page. Check it out if you have time and follow us while we are there! Mission to Colombia

I run.

The sky is midnight blue.
  The full moon is shining brightly through the barren trees, making the frost on the branches glitter like diamonds.
     The fresh air stings my skin at 18 degrees, but it awakens my soul.
My breath dances around me in the early morning darkness like a ghost in the wind.

 Winter runs are the most difficult for me to get going, but honestly, they revive me.
I purposefully choose an early Spring race because if I don't, I know that my motivation will be slightly less to keep going. I am not a fan of winter.

 The blankets and bed feel so good at 4:30 in the morning on a cold winter day.

 But I choose to go out the door. And when the beauty of the sky and fresh frost greet me, I am so glad I did.  The morning is beautiful. Cold... but beautiful. I do not like winter. But, for one hour in this early morning, I can find the beauty in it.

My muscles are a little stiff, true to winter days, but as I get going, they (and I) warm up. Yesterday the sun was out and melted the sun, so I have to watch my footing a little along the way, as melted snow becomes slick ice in the night. But those patches are few, so I don't mind.

My thoughts run wildly, keeping my pace going. I feel free. Call me one of those crazy runners if you wish,  but I won't give a rebuttal to that statement today. I probably am.

I gaze at the stars a little as I run, and smile as the moon lights my way. No one is out today (and who can blame them??)

I am slow . I might be working on training for a March race, but my pace is dreadfully slow. But that's ok. Right now, I don't run for a time.
 I run because it makes me smile.
   I run because it gets me going on these winter days.
   and I run because it frees my head from the tangled thoughts that weave around my soul.

As I turn around and head home,  I am glad that I started my day this way. It was a challenge to rise at 5 am on Sunday. But very worth it.  The fingers of the clouds are beginning to wrap around the moon now, and the pink hues of sunrise are just beginning to show themselves behind me.

I reach my front door, ready to be in the warmth again, and ready to greet my family, who is just rising. And ready to consume the Sunday morning breakfast of cinnamon rolls..... And I smile.
 Today is going to be a good day.

STRONG

   Each year I have chosen a word by which I would like to define myself, or my year. When 2016 began, I was unsure I wanted to do that again. However, I have learned that the more a theme comes up in my life, the more I need to pay attention to that. It happens to all of us, if we allow ourselves to be aware. Ask anyone around me- I am quite in tune with my mind and my emotions (almost to a fault), so I don't miss these themes very often.

   So, as I have pondered whether or not to choose a word, I have come to a decisive conclusion that my word for 2016 is STRONG.


   Different people define STRONG in various ways.  Urban dictionary defines it as: Someone who comes off as confident, someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Merriam Webster defines it as: having great physical power and ability; or not easy to break or damage.

   I have often been misinterpreted as a weak person because I am quiet, or because I am kind. My kindness is mistaken for weakness,  and in those moments, I have let those who are interpreting me that way define my aura. No longer will that be the case. In 2015 I did a large amount of personal inward growth. I discovered confidence in the midst of chaos. I became comfortable in awkward scenarios. I did not break as easily as I had in the past.... because I learned new truths about myself and began to believe those.

Now, for 2016, it is time I apply those and prove to others as much as to myself, that I am STRONG.
 Emotionally STRONG: Strong does not mean I do not still struggle. In fact, I would say I am stronger than any one of you may ever know because of my struggles. I wake up every day and battle the demons of depression and fight the war of anxiety. It's a silent battle, and you may never see the warrior in me, but she is raging war every day in a beautiful way, and new strength emerges in those moments. And every day that God helps me fight that battle, He grows me stronger emotionally.

 Physically STRONG: Strong does not mean I will be the most beautifully defined woman muscularly. But I will work on this area this year. I will get back to weight training and grow physically stronger. I will work towards being better in my running and attaining a PR before this year ends. I will allow myself some good eats, but I will also learn the power of resistance so that my strength does not disappear.

Mentally STRONG: Similar to emotionally strong, Being strong in this area does not mean my worries or my hurts disappear. It means I take those and use them to make me better. Mental and Emotional in my life are intertwined.

Family STRONG: I can't tell you I completely understand or have defined this category yet, I just know that it has been one that has been a bit worn down over the years, and this year we are working to build our family stronger. The battles have already begun in this area, but I am determined to be stronger here. My kids are growing fast, and time is passing quickly. This year, I will work to do my part to strengthen our family.

Verbally STRONG: Strong verbally does not mean I will walk into the room and be the loudest in the crowd. Verbally strong just means that I have found my voice.... and I am not afraid to use it any longer. I have learned how to better say no. I have learned to stand up for myself in appropriate ways. And I have learned to speak my opinion when necessary. I'm still figuring out the balance at times with this, but verbally strong doesn't mean I speak over everyone. It simply means I know when it is appropriate to share my stance.

Spiritually STRONG: While I chose this area for last, I did so because it resonates the most powerfully in my life. I have sat the backseat of my faith at times. Being Spiritually strong does not mean I am going to get in others' face with my beliefs. No, that is not it at all. Spiritually strong simply means I have convictions and I will stick to them. Spiritually strong means relying on God fully to be my strength. He has taught me to let go of a lot of things and people; now I am learning to let Him fill those gaps, so that I can be spiritually stronger. Spiritually strong means sharing my story and not being afraid of it. Spiritually strong also has come to mean a very powerful aspect of life for me: it means I rely on His strength for all of these above STRONG items. It means that without Him, I can do none of these. I know that in my own power, I am weak. I know that I battle my mind every day, but only by His power can I overcome. It is in His Strength that my weaknesses are made perfect. And this year I will embrace that deeper. So that He becomes stronger in me. So that I can be STRONG.

 So, as 2016 is well on its way, I will choose to be STRONG this year. In every category. Because I am a warrior. I am a fighter. And I will not back down.

 Deuteronomy 31:6 , MSG says " Be strong. Take courage. Don't be intimidated. Don't give them second thought because God, your God is striding ahead of you. He's right there with you. He won't let you down. He won't leave you. "