Start over. Mind over Matter

Starting over or beginning any act for the first time is never easy. Mind over matter is truly how to accomplish it.
   Mind over matter- forget about the fear and just do it.
Mind over matter- stop with the "I can't" and say "I will"
 Mind over matter- envision the finish line, the end product, not the start line where it is so easy to stop or give up before even getting going
 Mind over matter- Believing in oneself and pushing through the doubts

    I was not a blogger when I first began running, so I want to share a story about when I first began.

  My whole life I had said "I'm not a runner and never will be!"
  In high school, the cross country coach called me, asking me to participate, in need of runners. I had zero desire to do that, but said I would try and get back with him. I did not even go a mile, felt like dying, and called him back to say "no thanks, it's not for me."

   I had friends who took it up when we got "older", and I still said, "nope- never. Not for me."

 And yet... I have learned to never say never.

 In case you have heard this story or in lieu of not dragging it out, I witnessed the finish line at the Air Force Marathon as a volunteer and I said then that I would do a half marathon.

 Before that moment, I had not really found myself capable of accomplishing such large goals. But when I saw the different ages, shapes, sizes, people cross that finish line, I said to myself "If they can do it, so can I."

 I do believe that in that moment is when I really began to understand myself and learn what I could do with the right mind set.

  My first run was so hard. I mean HARD. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I hated it. Yet, I'd set my mind to it. I had no idea what I was doing. I wasn't wearing the right shoes nor clothing. I didn't know anything about stretches or training. I was clueless.

 My brother, at that time a marine drill instructor, came home for a short break, and he offered to go out for a run with me. This is when I feel the turning point came for me. He taught me a valuable lesson. We went for a run in the park. He pushed me. I hated it. But he is one who has always pushed me, helped me understand my potential, even if he is younger than I am. He said to me we would only go one mile and then I could walk. I. Wanted. To. Die.  I asked him, "Are we at a mile yet??" And he said nope, keep going... we are getting close. To me, it felt like an eternity. When he said "One Mile!" I never felt so relieved.
  Then he had this stupid grin on his face, so I asked him why he looked so mischievous. He told me "Congratulations, you just did a mile and a half!!"

 That fool tricked me, but taught me a valuable lesson in that moment. Mind over matter. We are capable for more than we think. We must learn to push ourselves a little. Several months later, I finished my first half marathon and have never looked backwards on that.

 Running has taught me countless lessons. I know that I have yet to learn from this unique sport. I share all of this to remind myself of the capability. In 2019 I only was able to run one half marathon. Due to many life events, I feel like it went by the wayside. However, I am back in training now. I am looking towards an April race and a May race. BUT.... I feel like that person back in 2008 who is taking her first steps again.
 I may not have slid that far into being out of shape, but I definitely have to remind myself of the ability that lies within me in regards to distance running. I have to remind myself how good it feels and how much I will enjoy the accomplishment. And I have a goal in mind, to which I am much looking forward seeing the outcome. I really have to live mind over matter right now, as the miles have become difficult for me once again.

 A mentor once taught me that it usually isn't about the actual finish line experience as it is about the journey of what I learn through it. Yes, the finish line feels good and is exciting. However, it feels that way because of what is overcome through the months leading up to it. And I am very much looking forward to what the next months will teach me as I re-train my body how to do this distance.
 I'm not out to win my age bracket. I am not even sure yet that I want to aim for PRs. However, I am anxious to be at it regularly again.

 It will be hard. I am 10  years older. I am more tired (so not sleeping in is a challenge). I am probably (ok... I am) 10 pounds+ heavier. But I am also 10 years the wiser. And I am excited to see what this new leg of the journey, this new decade if you want to say, will bring. One day at at time.