Live Abundantly

I was once told that my blog would possibly be more effective or more read if I chose a topic or followed a theme with it.
  I attempted that at one point. I've moved from talking about grief to discussing running and sharing about spiritual growth. I generalized my blog as a platform to write about faith, fitness, family and friendships. Mostly I hold to that, though it kind of gets a little scattered, and I know it.

 But... I'm not writing on this platform to be a professional author (yet ;) )  nor do I write here to have a large following. It is nice to know when a person reads the blog, of course. However, I write for the purposes of processing my own thoughts many times. Yes, I could do that on my own in a journal and I still do for the more deep moments. But I hope that somehow for the few who may read this, that my blogs either 1. Help prompt the thoughts a little, help people grow or think about life al little deeper. or 2. At the very least gain a little insight to me. Those who read this likely know me in some way, shape or form, and shy of writing emails or letters to everyone, well, this is a way to share a little of life.

 I have in the last year grown in an enormous way. I took 2019 to be a little more internal with my thoughts, more purposeful, if you will. I learned very  much. Now, moving into 2020, I feel that growth propelling me forward in new ways, which can at times prompt new growth and new lessons in life. I'll find myself blogging about those more through this year, I am certain. Perhaps the lessons I drank in during the last year are going to come pouring out through these pages this year. Time will tell. Today I want to share about the word I've chosen for 2020. It's 2 words, actually.

                                                    LIVE ABUNDANTLY

 I'd like to give a little background on this choice. In 2019 I used the word purpose and through the year often found myself turning in to that word, thinking about why a situation was happening, what my purpose was in the moment or how to keep pushing towards my created purpose in this life of being a wife, mom, employee, and child of God. Through it I learned so much, but I will say that it came at times with struggles to push through difficult moments. Standing up for what I felt was right; enduring rejection at times; pushing through emotions; learning more about who I was created to be in the pursuit of fulfilling purpose. It was a journey and one on which I continue.
 But I admit, there were days I struggled to enjoy that journey. And so as 2019 came to a close and I began thinking about 2020, I could not get away from a verse that kept coming to my mind.
  John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

 I want to live abundantly. I want to be joyful in all that I do. I want to enjoy life to the fullest, because that is what HE wants for me. I want to, even when it gets hard, find ways to be positive and live life abundantly. live out experiences. Laugh more. Deepen the relationships that matter. Forgive. Repair broken pieces. And continue living out my purpose- fully! Living life abundantly.

 Let me be honest with you about this- I struggle to do this well. I am super good at supporting others and helping them see the silver lining or just being present with them. I am good at being patient and helping diffuse situations with peaceful and calm words (usually). However, I struggle inside with anxiety. Anxiety is an invisible sickness that consumes the body at times. My heart beats fast, deep breaths become necessary and my throat tightens up. Anxiety is real. It is hard to explain to others. I've been told that as a believer I shouldn't feel that, i should just pray and it'll go away. I've been told that anxiety isn't a thing. I've been told to get over it and many other things. I've been told that I should count my blessings because I have many of them. This I know- 100%.
 I don't choose anxiety. I do everything I can to fight it. It is invisible. And it often is one of the "thieves" that comes to steal and destroy the joy that I should have. Paul talks in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 about a weakness he desperately asked to be taken away, but in the process learned the grace of God to be sufficient and to be his strength. That is me with anxiety. But in spite of having that invisible battle within, He wants me to live abundantly. Because He is my strength.

 So that is what I am working towards doing. That is my word for 2020. And that is what I share today. I will continue to share the difficulties through these pages because those are the lessons in life that teach us. However, I hope to also share the amazing moments that come from living life abundantly, one day at a time.