Let the Little Children Come...

The nature of this trip was not unlike that of the previous ones.
 We went in to do construction, host children's programs, youth programs, community programs and this year we added a women's night. That was one of my favorite nights, so I will save that for last. But even though the work is similar, there are always different results and different experiences.
 For today's blog, I focus on the children of Brisas del Mar.

 I am more immersed with the Youth probably than I am with the kids, or maybe it's that there are more children than teens so I remember the teens' names better. But these kids are just precious. They laugh and love and fight and cry just like the kids here. But there is an element to them not found always in our surroundings in the states, which is hard to pinpoint.

 The majority of the kids are loving, outgoing, hungry to take photos with us and happy to play the simplest of games. This year we did a puppet show with them for one of the activities and they just thought it was the most fun thing to make their own paper puppet and act out the story we'd just told. (Once they figured out how to do the puppet, that is.)
 And with the Fun Fest we do each year, the kids come for temporary tattoos and face painting and carnival games. Only, the games are different. Throw a sponge onto a frisbee to make it land; blow a ping pong ball into a cup; toss rings. They don't get a prize, they just play... and they are happy to do so. Face painting and tattoos are the biggest hits of the event, of course. We watch them laugh and play and have fun and in the end, they line up and get a small goodie bag to take home.
  One night (although I am not doing this story justice because I only caught pieces of it) when we were meeting with the youth, the other part of the team was entertaining all the kids that came. And somehow it would seem there became a game being played with a sock? Maybe they were tossing a sock around? Whatever the case is, the point is that it doesn't take silver and gold to entertain these kids. They are happy to be loved, and to play the simple games just for fun.

 The kids love their photos taken and their eyes tell stories of life in Brisas del Mar that we can not capture with words. They are of a rich heritage, but as the village grows and progresses, the children are beginning to have better opportunities than in the previous generations. The children flock from person to person, holding up their thumbs for photos to be taken and then of course wanting to see how they looked.

 I was really struck though by one particular moment with a child. I don't know his name. But you'll see photos below. At the Fun Fest, the teens help and so we as the team members get to just really (eventually) enjoy what is going on rather than run the games entirely. As I was milling about, taking photos and talking to the children, a little boy landed in front of me and was so sweet, I just had to pick him up. I miss those young toddler days of my own, and holding on to those in Brisas del Mar is special. And so I picked this little boy up. It was evident he was tired, though he wasn't grumpy. I just could see it in his eyes. And so I began to sway back and forth with him. He fought it for a bit but eventually, he was asleep in my arms.
 I can't tell you the last time I had a child that size sleeping in my arms. I savored the moment. But as I was holding on to him, soaking in the innocence and also watching the kids laugh and play around me, I thought how Jesus said in the Bible, "Let the little children come to me."
  Jesus loves those little children. He loves us adults too. But so often, especially in a community like Brisas, it can happen where the kids get a little less importance. But Jesus said "let them come to me." And as I watched the kids play and held this sleeping toddler, that was impressed upon my heart.

 Let the children come to me.

 Jesus made the kids important, too, in a world where they may have been disregarded somewhat, too. Let's face it.... I won't generalize all of society, but so often we get focused on our adult worlds that we forget to be like a child, and we can forget to love those children in the ways they need and deserve . Watching these kids take in the joys... That is Jesus personified. That is what we are supposed to be about. Meeting people where they are. Appreciating their level (or even lack of). Letting the children come to him in freedom and laughter and love.
 He valued them.

 We valued them as well. Not to glorify us, but so that God might be glorified. So that they might come to know Him one day.

 I won't forget that moment. I certainly won't forget the children in Brisas. They laugh and laugh and teach me to laugh as well at my mistakes, at my messy hair and at life. They have nothing... we watch them come for the feeding program and they have nothing, but they have a hope. A hope we often ourselves lose in the midst of busy days and adult worries. And I love the hope that they bring to life rekindles the fire in me, too.

 Let the little children come...

Often songs from my childhood come back to me, especially in moments like that. And I recall the song "Red and Yellow Black and White they are precious in His sight. Jesus love the little children of the world."

Making Puppets

Coloring Sheets

We put together school bags for all the kids, and here they are lining up to receive them.

There's No Place Like Home....

With what sits on my plate as part of my tasks this year in life, I have not had the time to blog so much. However, I have just returned from my third time to Brisas del Mar, Colombia, and it always deserves some blog spots.
 And not just that it deserves blogs to share about the beautiful people there, but it also helps me find ways to put into words and process the incredible experiences. It helps me fill in a small way the huge void that sits in my soul as I say "Until next time" to my Colombian family.

 And so today, as I am continuing to reflect on those moments, on one hand my heart is so full from the love and the people and the experiences. And yet on yet another hand, my heart breaks and is so sad from separating from the village that has captured my soul.

 Perhaps I say - or will say- this every trip, but it holds true : this was my best trip ever of all the 3. The team I traveled with was really wonderful and surpassed the teamwork in a way I didn't expect. There were only 9 of us, and all except one had been there before. Mike, Paula, Mark, Ed, Jay, Keith, Diana and Steve. I felt more immersed in the community this time than ever. ( That grows each time) And the events we had were beautiful, not to mention watching more people filter in to the church service and the goodbye service than I'd ever seen there before.

 I never quite know how to break these blogs down, as the experiences are vast and the emotions run deep. Breaking down by days feels a little overwhelming because we do so much in a day, and yet breaking down by experience would be a book. And so I will just write as it sits with me. Today: an overview.

 When we arrived the kids held a Welcome sign in Colombian colors, yet written in English. The pastor had the Colombian and American flags hanging side by side with a small banner saying "Bienvenidos" which means welcome. While there were not as many kids milling about upon our arrival, the love was thick in the air. Yuleida, Miguel and Javier all there, amongst others, and with the biggest bear hugs ever. I was not just coming back to Brisas del Mar. I was not just going to a place to do work and help.

 I was home.

 I have said that in blogs before about Brisas, but it never escapes me. It has become my home. The people love us as their own.

 We shared much laughter, jokes, food, many tears and some beautiful experiences. We saw on this trip more people attend church and the community's goodbye to us than we ever had before. We felt the love in a profound way. It doesn't matter how many times I've gone, God always teaches me, always shows up in new ways and his presence is evident. The world around us changes every day, but the love of God and His presence never does. It only grows more beautiful.

 How do I begin to put these experiences into words? I'll try my best to recap in new ways. We put together school bags, met new friends, deepened old relationships. worked on the construction, had youth nights, women's night, children programs, we danced, we ate and shared life. The community is reshaping and growing and God is at work. They now have a working well!!! How beautiful that was (and that will get a whole blog) to see them have REAL CLEAN water for the first time ever! Can you even imagine?? Something so simple for us is something so precious to them. That never ceases to amaze me, to teach me.

 And so in the next couple of weeks, when I can find the space to do so, I will share. I learned more about the country on this trip (in part for a research project for my Spanish class) but they have a fascinating history, one we can't begin to fathom.

 Every person has a story. That is true here as much as it is there. And every person wants their story to be heard. It is a beautiful moment to take in those stories, because when we do, we can learn in profound ways. They continue to change my life.... and I hope in a small way, through my sharing of the experience, they can change yours too.

 This blog today is titled There is No Place Like Home... and I am blessed to have this home here in Ohio as well as a home in  Brisas del Mar. There is no place like home. That is true. And when I leave here I miss my family ... but go see my Colombian family. When I leave them, the gap is just as big in my goodbyes because they are a part of my heart just as much. There is no place like home... and I look forward to sharing about my second home over the next few days.

 I don't know how long God will ask me to go back there, to be used there, to be taught in my own life while I am there. but until He redirects me, I will follow. It's a beautiful thing to see His work.

 More blogs to come....

Word of the Year

Words are powerful. Words can make a huge difference in life. In my world, they play a large role. Words can tear a person apart or lift them up for days. I joke with others that I am a wordy person. So, I don't take words lightly.

Every year I think about choosing a word for the year. I began this a few years ago, and it's sort of a fun practice for me. For 2018, I knew going into this  year that I was going to be facing some new challenges. So I thought about what word I wanted to define me, define my actions and my outcomes. What word did I want to choose to help shape what I knew might be coming as well as many events or obstacles or blessing that I don't yet know. So, for my word, I choose:

 Faith

Faith is such a small word with such large shoes to fill. In Spanish it is only 2 letters - fe.  But the word has such an ability to impact every part of me, those around me, every decision I make and every single thing that I face. 

We use our faith every day... we have faith our vehicle will start to get us to work. We have faith that the chair is going to hold us up every time we sit down. Those are minor examples, honestly. Faith is really not as easy as it seems. For me, already I have a few circumstances confronting my faith. Will I choose to trust or will I fret? Faith sometimes requires action and other times it requires waiting... and figuring out which one is being asked of me is also a challenge and part of the journey as well. 

At times having faith is simple and at other times, it seems impossible. So, for me, I want faith to define my year. I may not always like its outcomes, but I trust in the One who knows what's best for me. I might not always feel good during the growth that comes from the process, but I have faith  that the One who holds the stars and moon knows the best path for me. 

 Faith is hard. It doesn't always come naturally. I'm human. I want to take control and fix and do... not wait and see. I don't always understand, but it's not my job to understand, it's my job to trust. So many words can be said about the journey of faith, but that is my word for this year. along with that, I close off with these verses (bear with me, it's quite a passage, but it just all fits) that I am finding match the journey quite a bit already. 

 As I close, I lastly just say that I may not be as visible on the blog site this year. We will see as the weeks go along. I'll pop in now and then to share my journey, to talk about my fitness, to hopefully encourage you all. But part of my faith journey I think requires me to step back a little bit, too. Writing helps me process, so I won't be giving that up. But... as life shifts for me a little right now, the focus shifts, too. It's part of the faith journey. Stay tuned... I won't completely disappear. I will just be more in the background. 

 Growing in my faith. One day at a time...

 Isaiah 40: 21-31

 "Haven't you heard? don't you understand? Are you deaf to the words of God- the words he gave before the world began? Are you so ignorant? God sits above the circle of the earth. The people below seem like grasshoppers to him! He spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them. He judges the great people of the world and brings them all to nothing. They hardly get started, barely taking root, when he blows on them and they wither. The wind carries them off like chaff.  To who will you compare me? Who is my equal? - asks the Holy One.

 Look up to the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. O Jacom, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?

  Have you not heard? Have you never understood? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. " 

Faith

  

A Close to 2017

December 31. I can hardly believe that this year is ending. I feel like we just began... but they say the older you get, the faster time goes. I guess that means I'm getting older. But... at heart I'm still a little kid who laughs at silly jokes and cries when I hurt and learns from life's mistakes.

 This year, 2017, brought some hard times, some good times and some in between times. I can't sit here and recall every single moment, but that is why I will blog all year long. However, let me just share a couple.

 I began the year with the word vivacious. That is a large word to live up to, and some days I did and others not as much. But through the year, I think I embraced the concept at a new level. I didn't think about it as much as I have in years past with my "word", but as I have been reflecting on this year, I think I had many experiences that allowed me to grow and have allowed me to be vivacious.

 I met some new friends this year. Through my trip to Colombia I met Juan and Pastor Javier and Piedad. Also, Ashley and Cindy and Ginifer. I met Monica and Ashleh through my classes at school. And.. I met a lot of new runners this year. I love making new friends. Not everyone becomes a lifetime buddy... but then again, some of them do!

 I maintained the Dean's List in my education and I feel proud of that.

 We have endured some difficulties financially at home as jobs changed and incomes became adjusted. But through all that, even though the circumstance were tough, for me, I learned at a deeper level the appreciation of a dollar. And not just that, but lessons were more deeply reinforced of those that I have learned in Colombia. The people there have nothing, but they are so happy. This year I talked a lot with them about how they celebrate Christmas and I learned that 99% of them have NEVER ever had a christmas gift. I should stop being surprised by what I learn... but I am constantly amazed and eye-opened to things they experience. But I digress... the point is, I have learned much about being content without, and in all reality, the joy that comes from that.

 I ran a few races. A 10K, a 5 miler, and a half marathon. All were good experiences. But my favorite was the 5 miler. I got to run that with my friend, who pushed me and even taught me through it.

 Most of all, if I had to sum up this year in one word, I would pick the word : Growth.

 I learned so much this year- academically and spiritually and emotionally. Somedays I laughed, and yes, plenty days I cried. But most of all, through all of it, I learned. And I grew. And I discovered more about who I am and I am every day blooming into that woman more and more. And I cannot wait to see what 2018 will bring. I will share tomorrow about that.

 Here are a few of my favorite photos from the year. I really could choose like... a hundred. But, I will leave it to a few. (or... maybe like 10... I had a really hard time choosing! Also, in 2018, I am going to make my son take more pictures with me. He escaped them all too well !)

The team in Colombia with all of the teens

Wedding Fun! Getting all dressed up. 

I LOVE this photo! Ashley and I were caught on camera laughing so hard. 

Me and Elizabeth at the Blessings for Brisas 5K

Elizabeth ... homecoming

Me and My best friend, Paula

Just being silly in Phoenix

Family fun, Easter Sunday

Me with all the girls in Brisas

Me, Miguel and Mileth

Me and Rob with the 2016 Winning MAJCOM Challenge Team, ANG

Air Force MarathonStaff, Race day 2017. 

We 3 took a lot of these race weekend and laughed a lot! It's a must in the middle of exhaustion and chaos. 

Focus on Fitness #3- The Body

I have written multiple times that goals are so wonderful, but what is even better is what we gain in the process of trying to achieve those goals- what we learn about ourselves along the way.

 For me, goals nearly always bring that result. And sometimes I achieve my goal, other times I do not. I once used to get down and blue about not being able to reach the destination I'd desired, but I have learned to appreciate what comes in between all of the beginning and the "end" of the goal.

 I am a goal setter. I am a driven individual by my own desires and ideas. So, in my final fitness blog of the year, I want to talk about what I have gained along the way this year, through my goals, through new experiences (in fitness...) and through others I have met along the way in the same regard.

 I started out this year wanting to achieve a Personal Record in my half marathon. I also set the goal of being able to do even just one- just one- pull-up unassisted. I will tell you now... I met neither of those goals. In fact, I think I digressed a little in both areas, even if I kept pushing and never quitting. I must admit to you that I can have moments where that is discouraging to me- not being able to hold my plank at 3:30 lately or be able to crush a half marathon in 2:30 (that's not my PR goal, but it's a decent time for me) ... some moments I find that discouraging. But then I reflect. And I realized how much I have gained a long the way.

 I started out with thinking I would address this blog in regards to talking about the body and the fact that I have gained weight through this year, which affects the other areas of fitness. But what I want so much to focus on is the positives. Yep- it's true. I did not meet my goals I set out to do. And also- it's a fact- I definitely gained some weight along the way. But the greater truth is this: I have gained so much more through it all ... gain that is of worth and gain that actually matters in the end.

 I have gained new perspective.
  I have gained a deeper appreciation.
   I have gained a stronger fighting spirit.
    I have gained new friends.
     I have gained more knowledge.
       I have gained new appreciation of family relationships.
     I have gained a deeper self-worth than what comes from the scale.

In the Spring, I wrote a blog about the Scale. That blog was my most read blog I have ever written. I meant every word I wrote, but it doesn't mean I don't still struggle with it. Pressures exist all around me every day to look a certain way or be a certain way. At times those pressures come from my own head (ok, most of the time the pressures come from my own thoughts.) But sometimes the feelings come from things said, too. And I have a choice to make: let those words drag me down OR keep going strong. I choose to keep going strong. I choose to tell myself that, yep, I know I have gained weight this year and my body is a little different, but what I have learned about myself this year along the way and how I have grown through the difficulties and how I have bloomed through new experiences is worth far more than any number on the scale.

 The reality is, for me....for my story in 2017, is that I didn't make a PR and I didn't gain that toned look I wanted to achieve. BUT I am still going, still trying, still fighting, still working towards those goals. And along the way I'm maintaining the Dean's list at school, I'm a mom of 2 teenagers (how is that even possible?!?), I am a wife, I work a job I love and am all the time learning new things there and taking on different little responsibilities, and I in the midst of all of that... I still get up at 4:30 so I can go for a run or make it to TRX. I'm not bragging, I'm simply sharing my story. And on the days I get down on myself for the weight gain or the not reaching the goals.... I remind myself about the fact I have gained so much more along the way this year, all the while never quitting.

 So, did I meet my fitness goals this year? No, I did not. But along the way I have gained so much more about who I am and the direction I am going and finding more beauty in that journey than what the scale or a PR or a pull up could ever tell me. Will I quit setting goals ? Of course not !! (have you met me?!?)  But I also won't let it defeat me. I sometimes have to have this conversation with myself multiple times a day, but it's worth it. The body is a funny thing. And for me, it is a challenge not to focus on how my body is looking .  But what I'm really trying to say is that true beauty comes from within. From a self-love. From sacrifice and service. From kindness and generosity. And that beauty overflows through smiles, kind words, acts of service, hard work and just loving others. If I don't have that... nothing else even matters. So I have gained much more along the road this year. And I will never give up or forget all I have progressed in this year.
  The body is a crazy complicated thing to understand. But what I gain in my heart and life means more than any number (gain or loss) on the scale. So I will keep on keeping on, one day at a time.

Focus on Fitness #2. Strength

They say you are only as strong as your weakest link. That is true in the body as well. We are only as strong as our weakest part in some ways. That is why strength training is vital to the body. Muscle burns fat. Cardio is important, but strength training is just as much so.

 I have now been doing TRX for almost 2 years. That is a little hard to believe, quite honestly. I truly love the workouts. I leave every time feeling I may have discovered a new muscle in the body because Steck (our teacher) has pushed the class with a creative new exercise. Like one handed planks. Or jumps on the wall. Or, once the body reaches a place of not feeling pushed, I can adjust my feet so that I'm once again pushing my muscles to new lengths. I really enjoy TRX.

 But just like with my running, I have experienced challenges in the TRX/strength training this fall as well. Perhaps it was the fact I had evening classes the night before my TRX classes so I was more tired going into the class. Or maybe it was that between some illnesses, events, or kids needs, I didn't get to every single class diligently, as I had been so accustomed to in the prior year. We have plank challenges every month, the first class of the month, and the goal is to make progress. It's a good "tracker" of how the body is doing, even if we know not every time can be an improvement or every time can't always be the same. And so truth be known, my plank time declined. While a part of me is discouraged about that, I am also encouraged, because I know that it could be easy to be frustrated by that and quit.

 But I am determined. I am a fighter. And I want to see improvement. So even when I don't see it, I keep trying. I want so much to see myself get back... and even better...  to my best hold plank times. It's hard, let me tell you. And it hurts. But the kind of hurt that feels good. The kind of hurt that makes me keep going back for more, knowing that I am strengthening myself in the process, mentally as well as physically. As my friend, Tammy says, "I done drank the koolaid" (I suppose that is a joke from class... sorry)

 Strength training is vital to growth. When I run, my body uses all the muscles. The core muscles control my breathing and my posture; the leg muscles obviously propel my body forward in running; my arms swing, giving perpetual energy and movement to my motion. Even my shoulders and my back play a role. Therefore, the strength of those muscles is vital to my health. Strength training is more important than it gets credit.

 So as 2017 comes to a close, I did not reach my goal of doing solo pull ups that I had desired to achieve. However, goals are about learning... and continuing to press forward. Perhaps 2018 will become the year of the pull up for me ;) Only time will tell.

Focus on Fitness #1. Running

It seems as though I have sat myself down in front of this screen multiple times, begun multiple blogs and walked away with white space, not happy with the turn of the words, or lack thereof.

 This fall has been a season which has been challenging, and in light of that, I have found myself so profoundly in thought, yet at a loss for how to share the lessons being learned, the thoughts rattling around in my brain. Today I want to address fitness. you'll forgive me if this becomes a spew of words, but sometimes that is how life is.

 You all who have been reading this for a bit know I love fitness. I enjoy running and TRXing. I have a wealth of knowledge at my fingertips because of my job. I am fortunate and I am thankful that I have those opportunities. But this fall, the struggle has been real. And I have been dwelling on how to verbalize this, because while at times it is challenging to be vulnerable, I know many others face this challenge. Over the month of December, on Monday, I am going to share with you my Focus on Fitness.  I want to share with you what I have been learning in 2017 in regards to fitness. Because I feel I have really taken in a plethora of lessons this year, this seems the adequate way to balance it out, rather than jamming your in-boxes the last few days of the year. Today, I share about running.

 I have completed since 2009, 13 half marathons, 1 full, 3 10K, 1 15K and a few 5K races. I don't say that to say "yay, me!" I share that because I want to establish that I really enjoy running. It is a passion of mine. I am no elite by any means; I have never won an age category; I don't even finish in the top 100 of my age group! But, I have gained so much along the way with this hobby.

I have learned confidence. I have discovered overcoming obstacles through perseverance. I have found new friends. I gained a beautiful job. I have raised funds for non-profits. I have lost weight (at times.) I have reshaped my body. I have learned so much about the mechanics of the body. Honestly, I never imagined that in 2008 as I sat as volunteer on the Air Force Marathon finish line and decided I was going to run a half marathon myself that it would become what it has for me. And my mom used to laugh and say "Of all my kids.. I never thought you would be the one doing half marathon races."

 It is a passion. It is a hobby. It is even my job. It is my therapy. It is my happy place in the mornings (yes, even when I fight to go out in the cold.) It is how I clear my head. It's how I work out my anxiety much of the time. It is one place I am free and where I can be me and where I can grow.

 So, why am I talking about this today specifically? What have I learned through this year about running and through my running? Here are some key things...
 
 1. I have learned to stop saying the word slow. It's a challenge for me at times, but honestly, who defines that?   One time when I was speaking with a pacer for a race and he asked me my projected time, and I told him, his response to me was "Oh! Cool! I pace the slow runners!"
  Really?? that debilitated my confidence for a minute and then I slowly (no pun intended) learned to get over it.
  Slow is what people make it. I might think I'm slow compared to say, some of those I discuss the topic with, but someone else might think they are slow compared to me.

 Who cares? Really..... no, really. Who cares? I am out there. And for me, with some of the battles I face, or maybe the things that are on my plate, this is still an accomplishment for me. Yep, I have to repeat that to myself more than one time a week, but it's truth. I've worked hard to eliminate that.

 2. Just like life, running has its seasons.
    I've been in a dry season. A struggle season. I haven't quit and I press forward, but it's been a struggle. Maybe it's been the events of my fall, or maybe other contributions to the decline, but it's been challenging. I think that's what makes it all the more beautiful to me. It continues to teach me, to be a metaphor.
   Truthfully... I really wanted a PR this year. That didn't happen. In fact, I lost ground. But... I gained a lot in the process. And I'm still out there. It's been a dry season. But without the dry seasons, I can't appreciate the better ones.  Will I get better? only time will tell.

 3. Rebuild the Base
    In light of losing some ground, I have decided to rebuild. I have all the knowledge (well, there are always things I can learn) but I have a lot of resources available to me. And so this year I have learned a lot, even in losing some ground. So for December, I'm rebuilding my base so in January I can really try to push for my best in a March race. One step at a time, I'll get there.
  After running now for this many years, I feel like I shouldn't have to rebuild. But... why not? I think it's a good idea. There is nothing wrong with going back to square one with new approaches and better insight.

   I may have lost ground this year in some of my finish times, but is that really what matters in the end? I'll always be competitive by nature in this regard (just ask some of those who know me best)  but.... in the end, in my heart, this is not what matters. I am not out there to win the race, I am out there to win my race. And what my race is looks different each time I toe the start line.

 This year,  Running has continued to grow me. One step at a time.