I have written multiple times that goals are so wonderful, but what is even better is what we gain in the process of trying to achieve those goals- what we learn about ourselves along the way.
For me, goals nearly always bring that result. And sometimes I achieve my goal, other times I do not. I once used to get down and blue about not being able to reach the destination I'd desired, but I have learned to appreciate what comes in between all of the beginning and the "end" of the goal.
I am a goal setter. I am a driven individual by my own desires and ideas. So, in my final fitness blog of the year, I want to talk about what I have gained along the way this year, through my goals, through new experiences (in fitness...) and through others I have met along the way in the same regard.
I started out this year wanting to achieve a Personal Record in my half marathon. I also set the goal of being able to do even just one- just one- pull-up unassisted. I will tell you now... I met neither of those goals. In fact, I think I digressed a little in both areas, even if I kept pushing and never quitting. I must admit to you that I can have moments where that is discouraging to me- not being able to hold my plank at 3:30 lately or be able to crush a half marathon in 2:30 (that's not my PR goal, but it's a decent time for me) ... some moments I find that discouraging. But then I reflect. And I realized how much I have gained a long the way.
I started out with thinking I would address this blog in regards to talking about the body and the fact that I have gained weight through this year, which affects the other areas of fitness. But what I want so much to focus on is the positives. Yep- it's true. I did not meet my goals I set out to do. And also- it's a fact- I definitely gained some weight along the way. But the greater truth is this: I have gained so much more through it all ... gain that is of worth and gain that actually matters in the end.
I have gained new perspective.
I have gained a deeper appreciation.
I have gained a stronger fighting spirit.
I have gained new friends.
I have gained more knowledge.
I have gained new appreciation of family relationships.
I have gained a deeper self-worth than what comes from the scale.
In the Spring, I wrote a blog about the Scale. That blog was my most read blog I have ever written. I meant every word I wrote, but it doesn't mean I don't still struggle with it. Pressures exist all around me every day to look a certain way or be a certain way. At times those pressures come from my own head (ok, most of the time the pressures come from my own thoughts.) But sometimes the feelings come from things said, too. And I have a choice to make: let those words drag me down OR keep going strong. I choose to keep going strong. I choose to tell myself that, yep, I know I have gained weight this year and my body is a little different, but what I have learned about myself this year along the way and how I have grown through the difficulties and how I have bloomed through new experiences is worth far more than any number on the scale.
The reality is, for me....for my story in 2017, is that I didn't make a PR and I didn't gain that toned look I wanted to achieve. BUT I am still going, still trying, still fighting, still working towards those goals. And along the way I'm maintaining the Dean's list at school, I'm a mom of 2 teenagers (how is that even possible?!?), I am a wife, I work a job I love and am all the time learning new things there and taking on different little responsibilities, and I in the midst of all of that... I still get up at 4:30 so I can go for a run or make it to TRX. I'm not bragging, I'm simply sharing my story. And on the days I get down on myself for the weight gain or the not reaching the goals.... I remind myself about the fact I have gained so much more along the way this year, all the while never quitting.
So, did I meet my fitness goals this year? No, I did not. But along the way I have gained so much more about who I am and the direction I am going and finding more beauty in that journey than what the scale or a PR or a pull up could ever tell me. Will I quit setting goals ? Of course not !! (have you met me?!?) But I also won't let it defeat me. I sometimes have to have this conversation with myself multiple times a day, but it's worth it. The body is a funny thing. And for me, it is a challenge not to focus on how my body is looking . But what I'm really trying to say is that true beauty comes from within. From a self-love. From sacrifice and service. From kindness and generosity. And that beauty overflows through smiles, kind words, acts of service, hard work and just loving others. If I don't have that... nothing else even matters. So I have gained much more along the road this year. And I will never give up or forget all I have progressed in this year.
The body is a crazy complicated thing to understand. But what I gain in my heart and life means more than any number (gain or loss) on the scale. So I will keep on keeping on, one day at a time.
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